Dear masked marauders and everyone else these days!
At the risk of sounding too over-the-top, there is one advantage of wearing masks (aside from… you know… preventing the spread of Cov-id). You can tell if your fresh and minty breath is actually fresh and minty. It works like this:
Mr. Quinn: I’m horny.
Jasmin: About time!
I hate that parrot! Thanks Simon Shim on Unsplash for thinking to take a picture of parrot brushing its beak. It’s like you read my mind.
Jasmin dons mask, breathes out with mouth, inhales through nose. Wishes she were the heroine in a romance novel, because those bitches never have bad breath. Goes to bathroom and brushes teeth.
Returns to living room to find Mr. Quinn naked except for the mask he’s wearing as an eye patch and the parrot on his shoulder.
Mr. Quinn: Let’s play walk the plank!
Jasmin (new game, same stupid parrot): Sure, but not with the parrot.
Mr. Quinn (stands with the cuffs): He’s my first mate, wench! Hands behind your back!
If you look hard enough, you can always find the sunshine in the rain!
Jasmin Quinn, Totally Sober
I know what you’re thinking. Nice segue to the video, Jasmin. I do not get this video. Someone please explain it to me. Please!
Since I’m not getting out a lot, I’ve started a quest for sexy vegetables. I’m not eliminating fruit, but it’s sexy already. Ripe peaches, juicy watermelons, pear-shaped ass, popping the cherry, and of course, is that a banana in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
What started me on this quest? Mr. Facebook of course. He’s the best, isn’t he? I love it when that bastard makes the news for all the right reasons!
Click on the onions for the FB rejection that made onions across the world sexy, but no tweaking, pinching, sucking, squeezing or other inappropriate handling.
Thanks mayu ken on Unsplash for the walla wallas. Even the name sounds sexy.
So I dug around for some more sexy vegetables and turns out there are a bunch.
The romantic in me loves this picture of carrot love. Click on the pic for the article about why vegetarians make better lovers. BTW: apparently most condoms aren’t vegan!
Before we move on to the very important news, I want share the discovery of 100 million year old sperm that was making headlines on September 17th. Seriously, every major news outlet carried the story.
Why? Because it’s about sperm, and not just old sperm, but also big sperm. And big sperm equals big balls which very likely equals a huge dick! At least that’s why I read the articles. All of them.
On to the best news!House of Shadowshas been released! Why is it such a big deal? Because it’s the 12th and final book the my Running with the Devil Series. I’m excited about the end, but having trouble letting go. That means that next year, I plan to publish two novellas.
Owen’s instant attraction to Mel, the woman he hires to investigate his father’s past, adds complications to his already tumultuous life. Mel’s past has left her scarred and vulnerable, and though she has all the skills she needs to fight the enemy of the day, she has no defense against her desire for Owen Scott.
More awesome news! If you’re not already signed up for my newsletter, get cracking! There are giveaways if you’re a subscriber including the chance to win 1 of 5 $10 Amazon gift cards. If I get 200 new sign-ups, one lucky subscriber will win an awesome gift basket!
Some of my books got a makeover last week, including Black Surrender, which has new title to go with it’s awesome new look! Isn’t it beautiful?
I did a little housecleaning with the all my books, updating back matter and a few bits and pieces. A couple of new covers and all my books are now available in paperback.
I have finally put my books into boxsets. Aren’t they pretty? Each collection has four books and Running with the Devil Books 9-12 will be available December 11, 2020. Amazon and I tussled over these and I’m embarrassed to admit, they broke me. It’s not often I beg, unless Mr. Quinn insists, but Mr. Amazon got me down on my knees. It worked though, because as of this posting they are all available (I hope).
What’s next for Jas, you wonder? Or maybe not, but I wonder. I’m kidding. I know what’s next.
First of all, I’ve gone wide. In the hips, yes, but also my books are now for sale on Amazon and Kobo, and soon, you’ll be able to buy them on Google, Apple, and Barnes & Noble. Unfortunately, going wide means I can no longer offer them for free in the Kindle Unlimited program.
Second, I’m putting together my publishing plan for 2021. Of course, I’ll be publishing a couple of Darkness Falls books. In February, Ulrich and Aubrey’s story gets told in Primal Heat. This book has been fun to write – I’m kind of in love with Ulrich. Primal Heat is available to preorder on Amazon and Kobo! And Leah finally gets her book sometime next summer. Is she really batshit crazy, or is there a vulnerable woman underneath that insane veneer? Stay tuned.
Finally, I’ve got a new series in the works that will be a whole lot of fun. Still romantic, steamy, spicy, plus blatantly humorous in a very biting way (I hope). That plus the two RWD novellas and at least two Darkness Falls books will keep me busy and out of trouble.
Oh yes, and my free book, Fearless, for my Newsletter is almost done. I had wanted it finished before House of Shadows was released, but it lost ground on my list of priorities. Everyone who subscribes to my newsletter will get a copy of this 65,000 word book.
I’m hoping I can finalize it before Christmas.
That’s all I got. Stay safe, friends and eat your vegetables.
It’s all fun and games until the scissors slip and someone gets circumcised!
Hello you sexy, sexy things!
Am I objectifying you all? Of course, but at least I’m being inclusive. Sexy is as sexy does.
What does hell are you talking about, Jasmin?
In my world it means sexy has less to do with awesome good looks and more to do with who you are (in my case, I humbly admit its both).
For example, take Ren, the Mountain pack’s alpha in Savage Hearts (Shifters of Darkness Falls Book 4) (not literally, because he’s mine, you hear me, MINE!).
He didn’t try to convince himself he was good-looking. Maybe as a young man, he had the goods, but now, he was weathered, his nose broken a couple of times, scars across his torso. His ragged beard hid another on his neck, put there by a momma bear that took exception to Ren wandering between her and her cubs. But good-looking and attractive didn’t always equate.
Mind you, the rest of the paragraph focuses on how the babes love Ren’s size and demeanor, and how he’s a fuck and leave ’em kind of alpha, sooooo still a bit shallow.
Speaking of sexy, lets talk about blowjobs. When I’m writing sex scenes, I sometimes go to the internet for pointers. After all, Mr. Google is the reigning king of sex information. I need something, he’s got it. Google images is a huge resource and so are some cocks.
Mr. Google’s theme song
There’s a paragraph in the Savage Hearts where Cherime compares shifters to cocks and another where she describes Ren’s dick. I find myself writing similar descriptions across my books about the main male character’s cock: long (naturally), wide (also goes without saying), throbbing (all dicks throb, don’t they?), smooth helmet or mushroom head (there are probably other idioms I use, but none come to mind at the moment).
But I wanted something new, so I looked at a lot of images of penises (sigh, a writer’s work is never done) to come up with the perfect dick for Ren. This is how I describe it in Savage Hearts:
His flaccid cock was impressive enough and Cherime inspected it closely, her pussy warming up at its appearance. His foreskin hid the prolific hood, which, when hard, was like a mushroom with a super long and wide stem. His penis seemed lighter than the rest of his skin, but the helmet, when exposed, was as a dark as he was. Erect, the flesh on his shaft was silky to the touch, the root of it nestled in dark curly hair.
I know what you’re thinking. All those hours spent looking at penises and that’s the best Jasmin could come up with?
Yes! I’m a writer, not a genius!
Ren’s a mountain shifter, so there’s no manscaping for him. Also, a first for me is the mention of foreskin on a male character’s penis, although I talk about it all the time in real life, especially at dinner parties where polite conversation is encouraged.
Canada’s national animal. That’s how cool we are.
In Canada (yeah, I’m Canadian), it used to be that all little boys got circumcised (back in the day when I had my little boys), but I think that’s changing. I don’t know for sure because I haven’t seen many little boy penises recently (even I know better than to google that one).
At first I thought it would be wrong of me to ask young men whether they were cut or uncut. Then I thought, why the hell not? I won’t ask the little, little boys, because their mothers might call the police on me, but the big boys that are old enough to get into nightclubs seemed like fair game.
I channelled Cherime (shifter babe in book 4), wore a tight red dress, stillettos and a matching red face mask and stood outside a popular downtown nightclub with my clipboard and and pen. I looked extremely official with my is-he-or-isn’t-he checklist.
The problem was that everyone was wearing masks (you know, because of Covid-19, not because it was Halloween) and we couldn’t hear each other.
What the fuck, halloween?
Quick aside. Since when is Halloween a proper noun? It’s not a fucking statutory holiday. I know I sound too much like my grandmother, but Halloween doesn’t know its proper place. It needs its ass kicked.
Anyway, let’s move along before the all the attention goes to Halloween’s head (and not the one on top of his shoulders).
I arrived at the nightclub, looking sexy (not sexy is as sexy does, but downright so hot I was smoking. Which I don’t. Smoke, I mean. It’s a metaphor.
First guy to come up was a sweet little thing (maybe 20) that would never get to be a character in my books, because his girl friend was Nicole Kidman to his Tom Cruise, all height, heels and looking down on her little luv. Nonetheless, I was not there to be judgey, so I said, “Are you circumcised?”
Tom & Nic in the olden days before the big D. No sneering by Nicole.
He said, “What?”
Damn masks – they make the air fresher, but you can’t hear a thing. I raised my voice slightly and did a little a circular hand motion over my lower lady bits (vagina, people!). “Circumcised!”
He stared down at my lady bits too long based on his girlfriend’s reaction. She looked to him, then me, then back to him, then punched him in the arm so hard he squealed. Unlike Nicole Kidman, who doesn’t sneer, the cranky woman sneered at me and dragged him away.
I checked off Yes. Maybe it’s a generalization, but men who squeal must be circumcised. I mean, Ren would never squeal after Cherime punched him.
Next two guys that showed up were taller and far more filled out than my first candidate. I’d say lickable, if they weren’t so young and smug.
Why, hello zucchini!
“Hello, boys,” I said in a low, raspy, voice.
They stopped and smiled at me through their masks (yeah, yeah, they were wearing masks so how did I know they were smiling? If you’d been them looking at me, you’d know why they were smiling).
“Holy hell!” they said. Or maybe it was hello. The masks kind of muffle stuff.
“I’m doing a survey of young men. Can you tell me if you’re circumcised?” (btw, I don’t know how to spell circumsised. I’ve gotten the fucking word wrong every single time I’ve typed it.)
“What?” they said. It was like talking to Tweedledum and Tweedledee.
I sighed. “Circumcised!” Once again, I raised my voice and did the pelvis level circular lady bits motion.
They looked at each other, then the taller of the two said, “Supersized? Oh yeah, we are.”
He smirked at his buddy, who took his hand and kissed the knuckles. “But we’re monogamous and also totally gay.” His gaze travelled over my body. “No offense.”
The best nightclub in town. In case you didn’t realize it, that’s me right up front (not really me though).
I took a deep breath and steamed up my sexy professor glasses that I like to wear when I’m wanting to look sexy, but intelligent (the two are not mutually exclusive except in reference to me).
Anyway, I took the glasses off as three sexy young men sauntered up to me and stopped without me having to throw myself between them and the entrance.
They stood side-by-side like the three bears, but to be honest, they were all hot, but not too hot. Just right.
“Excuse me,” I purred, holding my gorgeous long red fingernail attached to my finger up in the air. The pointer one, not the FU one. “Don’t go anywhere, boys. I need to make a quick call.”
I dialled Mr. Quinn. FYI, we don’t have an open-marriage, and I don’t cheat but I do lie. “I’m at the market on Yates Street getting some… uh… hummus, but the store’s being robbed by these three hot men with long… um… guns and they’re handcuffing us all, so I can’t talk long. Just letting you know that I might a little late.”
Mr. Quinn replied, “Tell the beaver I said hello.” And hung up.
How the hell did Mr. Quinn know about the beaver?
I turned back to the boys, who’d been politely chatting with each other. One of them handed me back my pen, which had fallen while I was on the phone. “You dropped your pen, ma’am,” he said.
I was shocked and dismayed, both of which made me stagger to the wall so I could prop myself up. “Ma’am?” I yell-gasped as they slipped inside the club. “You fucking three bears, calling me Ma’am!”
I kept my string of curses going until the manager came out of the club and told me I had to either settle down or leave.
I settled down. I only ever leave when I’m fucking good and ready (or I’m arrested). I called Mr. Quinn back and told him the cops had arrived and arrested the assholes who had handcuffed me to a beaver, so I wouldn’t be late after all.
I decided to try once more time and base my findings on an N of 1. That’s a bullshit statistical word, of which I’m a fan. There are other words I could use, but none of them would make sense.
As usual, I’ve digressed rather badly.
The next guy that came up to me was so seriously hot that I reconsidered my marriage vows for a few seconds. Who hasn’t done that? When a girl sees a guy who she knows she would have stalked if not for the old ball and chain at home in his recliner, her mind goes to all those places her body can’t.
Anyway, I stepped in front of him, all elegant and graceful and stuff and said, “Hello you sexy man.” My voice was smooth as hot chocolate with marshmallows on top.
He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m not Mexican.”
Prison in Canada
Oops. “I said sexy… oh never mind. I’m doing a survey on circumcision.”
“What decision?” He was clearly confused.
“Circumcision!” I yelled, this time using a scissor hand motion across my lower lady bits.
“Oh,” he said, finally realizing what I was talking about. He shook his head. “Sorry, I’m not into that kind of fetish.”
As he walked away, I winged the clipboard at him, catching the back of his head and knocking him out. He’s okay now, but I’m writing this blog from prison. Mr. Quinn won’t post bail. It’s his punishment for me because I lied to him about hummus.
Now where were we? Oh yeah, Blowies!
Lucky girl!
The trouble with Mr. Google, is he pulls you in with interesting articles that make you want to look. Of course I did, because I never not look. I was fascinated by the blogs that described different types of blowjobs and how to give the best blowjob ever (which I’m sure you are, like me, already an expert at, but what if there’s a new technique that we aren’t aware of?).
Who wouldn’t want to know this stuff? Certainly, I did.
Fun facts (or are they? I mean facts, not fun, because of course facts are always fun, but do we know whether these facts are borne from an N of 1? See how I circled back there. You should ignore me when I’m talking about statistics – it’s all just bullshit anyway):
Did you know that how you give a blowjob says a lot about who you are. For example, if you’re a deep throater, then
you don’t do anything halfway. With you, it’s all or nothing, especially when it comes to penises. You practiced suppressing your gag reflex on your own time because you want to blow his mind while you blow his member. You’re selfless and committed, able to dedicate yourself to your partner 100 percent when the need arises.
Most of these articles about blowies all seem to agree that enthusiasm is the first and foremost factor. If you don’t like giving blow jobs, then you should figure it out.
I got my enthusiasm from my grandparents!
I have to admit, I’m a rather enthusiastic blowjob giver because it’s so much fun to to throw a guy off his game by going down on him while he’s driving (don’t do this on a busy highway), or in an alley, or the supply room at a hospital, or the bathroom of my grandmother’s house. She was shocked at first, then pissed at me when I told her to stop with the advice and get out!
My grandmother almost died several weeks after I visited when her falsies got stuck on grandpa’s penis while she was deep-throating him. She okay, but poor grandpa got circumcised that day. He hasn’t been the same sine.
Ren & Cherime if they were bear shifters, which they aren’t, but there were no cool wolf pics like this.
Speaking of awesome blowies!
In Savage Hearts, Cherime gives Ren a morning blowjob, that made me have to stop my editing and reaquaint myself with Rosario, my lovely little pink vibrating toy.
You want the details? I don’t have time to spend with Rosario right now, so I guess you’re going to have to read the book.
I know what you’re thinking: Good segue, Jasmin! Maybe you aren’t, but I certainly am. Time to get back to Savage Hearts and my wonderful world of Darkness Falls shifters!
You may have already guessed this, but just in case you’re still trying to read between the lines (there’s nothing between the lines – never is, never will be), Savage Hearts is now available on Amazon. The book is fun, but serious, Ren and Cherime are fun, sexy, and also serious. And for the first time ever, there’s a bonus chapter at the end. I know! I was surprised too. At first, it was an epilogue, but then I wrote a different epilogue, so it became a bonus chapter.
But wait, there’s more!
Book 5 of the Darkness Falls series, Primal Heat is up for preorders, so if you love book 4 (and how could you not?), you’re going to love Book 5!
It will be available February 26th, 2021. I know what you’re thinking. What the fuck, Jasmin? Can’t you write the book faster?
Why yes! Yes, I could, buuuuttttttt the last book in my Running with the Devil Series is set to be published in November, so I have to write that one first.
Yes girls and boys, Book 12, tentatively titled House of Shadows, is the final chapter in the war between Rusya and Jackman. My heart hurts a little when I think about it. It’s going to be hard to let go of these characters, but life marches on.
House of Shadows (Running with the Devil Book 12) will also go up for preorders in September.
Last but not least!
Finally, I have to plug my book, Unleashed, which I released at the end of June. It’s currently a standalone book, but I’ve been sketching out a series plan. Maybe three or four more books to come!
I hope your summer has held some joyful moments as well as some peaceful solitude. Fall is around the corner and so is that smug (not a pronoun) bastard, halloween.
Peace out my sisters (and brothers).
I love you much (am I overdoing it? You’ll know because you’ll start feeling highly uncomfortable, then you’ll try avoiding me, but it won’t work. I have major stalker skills – I even won an award for them!
xxoo
Jasmin
PS. I have no PS for you today. I ran out of clever about half-way through this blog.
PSS. Wait. I just thought of one. Check out these new 5-star read by authors that I regularly stalk!
Dear Lovers of each other and also of me, and also of Annabel Joseph!
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Mr. Quinn and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day. We don’t have to. Everyday is Valentine’s Day with us (not really – we lack the gene that makes us romantic, which oddly, also makes us romantically compatible).
How can a romance author lack the romance gene, you ask? Have you read my books? My boys speak in grunts and prefer to say it with action and lots of tongue. And my girls, well, they love my boys. I have been trying to make my male heroes more emotionally available, so this year, I set several goals to improve my skills in the romance department.
Goal 1. Work on being more emotionally expressive. If Mr. Spock and Don Draper had a baby, it would be me. But unlike my two fictional dads, I’m willing to try to change.
Goal 2: Show my sensitive side. Ask for directions more often, let Mr. Quinn carry my suitcase, and make myself weep (without eyedrops) when I’m writing love scenes.
Goal 3. Interview other romance authors who write swoon-worthy material.
Speaking of other authors, the following are my criteria for choosing authors for my interviews:
I only interview authors who I’ve read and loved. And their books – I love their books too.
I only interview authors who have agreed to be interviewed. I know some of you are thinking I’m faking these interviews but know this, I don’t fake orgasms or interviews. Yes, I make shit up all the time, but not this shit. These are real authors with real answers.
I only interview authors who have no moral compass (see, now I’m making shit up). Annabel Joseph, for example, is practically a saint (if you discount the books she writes). She is against injustice, cruelty, and flashy, rude drivers. She also crusades against linerless trash cans and the inconsiderate people who use them.
4. Read a mènage book. Which I did! I read a great ménage et quatre between one woman and three men. Okay, it’s not the first mènage book I’ve read, and also, has nothing to do with me becoming more romantic, but I needed a clever segue.
As you are aware, I never lie (except when I do lie), but this is NOT a lie. A Quartet of Pleasures is the best ménage book I’ve ever read. Why, you ask? Or maybe you didn’t ask, but others did. Okay others also didn’t. Just me. I asked.
Where was I?
Oh yes! Guess who writes a great ménage et quatre with three men and woman with no sex between the men? Annabel Joseph and her recently published book, A Quartet of Pleasures!
A Quartet of Pleasures resonated with me (is that a pun?). It was cleverly done, in a series of 4 related shorts and the crescendo (also a pun or maybe a metaphor, maybe both because aren’t puns metaphors?) was excellent because the reader gets to know the female and her three partners individually before it becomes a hot, hot foursome. The men themselves are also into different BDSM things, which makes the final novella so fucking hot.
Is this not the best segue you’ve ever read?
Speaking of Annabel Joseph, I was delighted when she agreed to do an interview with me.
Annabel Joseph
Who is this woman and why am I so fascinated with her?
Annabel Joseph is a NYT and USA Today bestselling BDSM erotic romance author. She writes mainly contemporary romance, although she has been known to dabble in the medieval and Regency eras. Her characters all have one thing in common, they are “into” BDSM and they have lives that are richer, fuller, and more complex because of it.
If you are interested in sensual power exchange and the dramatic emotion of BDSM relationships, you will find the novels of Annabel Joseph both titillating and satisfying in a completely original way.
Annabel also writes non-BDSM erotic romance under the pen name Molly Joseph, which by the way, is much easier to spell.
I virtually (as opposed to literally) dropped by Atlanta, Georgia for the interview. I have never been, but always imagine living in Georgia and am constantly looking at real estate listings so I can buy a pretty house and eat peaches (truly, Georgia fascinates me).
Fun facts about Atlanta:
Atlanta, Georgia is the birth place of Coca Cola, where it was invented by Confederate Colonel John Pemberton. He marketed it as “Coca-Cola: the temperance drink”. Ironic, since Coke is now paired with a number of alcoholic beverages.
Atlanta is Georgia’s fifth capital. Savannah, Augusta, Louisville, and Milledgeville boasted the title earlier.
It was once illegal to put an ice cream cone in your back pocket in Atlanta. This law is no longer on the books, fortunately for me because that’s always what I do with my ice cream cone, unless of course I don’t have any back pockets. Then I have to find someone who does.
Atlanta also outlawed tying a giraffe to a telephone pole, which made me wish for a giraffe, but Mr. Quinn said no.
Margaret Mitchell of Atlanta Georgia, and author of Gone with the Wind, collected erotica from book shops in New York City while in her twenties. She and her husband were interested in ‘all forms of sexual expression’.
Speaking of writers with unique interests in forms of sexual expression, let’s get on with my interview of Annabel Joseph.
Not AJ, but could be don’t you think?
Ms. Joseph is a dazzling redhead and on the day of the interview, her long hair was twisted into an envious messy bun. She was wearing Netherland clomps on her feet, which peeked out from under her lace-edged petticoat, which peeked out from under her regency seafoam dress. She appeared fresh-faced and eager to talk with me over bottles of water and a fried zucchini picnic on a bench in Constitution Lakes Park.
The weather was balmy, and I was barely put off by the muddied heads and limbs of dolls scattered around the park.
I offered Ms. Joseph a sip from my flask of whiskey, but she politely refused, citing her disinclination for alcohol.
JQ: Good Afternoon, Ms. Joseph. May I call you AJ?
AJ: I’d prefer if you didn’t.
JQ: Annabel it is. You are a romance author and an excellent writer (seriously excellent writer).
AJ: Is that a question?
JQ: Yes, it is.
AJ: Then yes to both.
JQ: I’m surprised you don’t drink.
AJ: That’s what we’re starting with?
JQ: Yes. You’re like a bonny woodland creature, flitting about, writing hard core BDSM stuff and yet the other side of you abstains from alcohol, likes sitting in parks, and wears petticoats. If you don’t drink, how do you handle life’s stresses?
Annabel being a blue butterfly (photo courtesy of Annabel)
AJ: I think the brand name is Pristiq. But I do drink sometimes, I just don’t like being drunk and being around drunk people. I probably only drink a couple times a year. My fave drinks are things like White Russians or Mudslides, or Kahlua and milk. Something milky and sweet.
JQ(trying my best to appear sober): What kind of romances do you write?
AJ: I write in three different genres…contemporary BDSM romance, historical spanking romance, and vanilla romance.
JQ: What exactly are vanilla books? Why write vanilla? Is it related to cake?
AJ: Vanilla is not related to cake. I wish! Vanilla just means there’s no kinky stuff. Sometimes I come up with a story that doesn’t fit with any BDSM dynamic, so that becomes a vanilla title by Molly Joseph instead of Annabel Joseph. But, you know, even my vanilla books have tons of sex and sometimes anal. If I wrote it, I at least TRIED to put anal in it.
JQ: If your vanilla books are vanilla, what flavours are your contemporary BDSM and historical spanking romances? Are they the both the same flavour or two different ones?
AJ: Contemporary BDSM is rocky road and historical spanking is butter pecan.
JQ: You’re speaking my favourite language – ice cream! Based on your description, most of my books are vanilla because they are not explicitly BDSM related. In fact, compared to yours, mine barely qualify as a layer cake.
AJ: Any kind of cake is good cake.
JQ: Even fruit cake?
AJ:
JQ: Which of your vanilla books would you recommend?
AJ: Well, I only have four vanilla books, and three of them are bodyguard books. They’re still sexy, they just don’t have BDSM because I didn’t want to muddy up the super-horny bodyguard dynamic with a separate BDSM dynamic. If you like bodyguards, you should read Pawn or Diva!
JQ: I am in process of reading Pawn and very much enjoying it. The sophistication of your writing leaves me to believe you are a genius, perhaps up there with Stephen Hawking, Sheldon Cooper, and Stewie Griffin. Tell me about your newest release.
AJ: I have just released A Quartet of Pleasures (on January 20), which is my first foray into both short novellas and ménage. It’s four related shorts about a woman in a string quartet who sleeps with her three co-musicians in separate trysts, and then all together.
JQ: What’s next for Annabel Joseph?
AJ: The next thing I’m writing is the second book in my Properly Spanked Legacy series. I often switch back and forth between contemporary and historical to keep things exciting, lol
JQ: Tell me about yourself. Who is Annabel Joseph and what makes her tick?
AJ: I’ve been married to my awesome and wonderful husband for twenty years. On social media, I refer to him as Ivan, but that’s not his real name, lol. We have a lot of fun together although we are so extremely different (dominant and submissive, for one.) We have four teenage kids together, three girls and one boy.
JQ: Why did you become a writer?
AJ: I was reading a lot of erotica & BDSM books, and they were hot, but none of them scratched my exact itch. When you write the books yourself, you can put all your favorite kinks into them. It’s also a nice, flexible career for someone with kids.
JQ: What do you find attractive in a man?
AJ: There are so many things, but a guy doesn’t have to be all of them. I like guys who are an interesting combination of things. Like, a really sporty guy who also likes to knit pouches for orphaned animals, or a really clean-cut accountant type who’s secretly nasty in bed. Any guy who is interesting, curious, kind, strong (and there are many kinds of strength) is hot to me.
BUT if we’re talking about romance/fantasy guys, then it’s muscles, height, huge presence, huge cocks, asshole personalities, and a secret tender side.
JQ: Me too. All of the above. Your interview will go live on February 14th, which is Valentine’s day. Is there anything you would like to say about this particular day? How likely are you to give it a 5-star rating?
AJ: I do enjoy Valentine’s Day. It’s love and hearts, two things I really like. I give it five stars, especially if I receive chocolate.
Ivan & Annabel in love
JQ: On Valentine’s Day, will you celebrate with a white Russian? Will he speak any English? Will he have to?
AJ: I see what you did there! I’ll be celebrating with my husband, Ivan. Does that count?
JQ: Yes, it does. Ivan appears to be Russian based on his mug shot.
AJ:
JQ: You’re a self-described beautiful Alto 1. Are you at all dismayed by the fact that altos are always the evil one in every musical or opera?
AJ: That is NOT true! You’re just trying to get a rise out of me. As we say in my chorus, “Alto 1 is alto fun.”
JQ: According to Google, both Amy Winehouse and Cher are altos. Can you explain how that can happen when they don’t even live in the same country (and one of them is also deceased) plus they don’t sound at all alike.
AJ: I think a person’s level of alto-ness can be affected by how much they smoke and also how much they do drugs. Also, both of them are actually contraltos so this is just you baiting me again.
JQ: Perhaps that’s where the confusion lies. According to my friend, Google, a common saying among contraltos is that they may play only “witches, bitches, or britches.”
AJ: Thank God I’m not a contralto, they’re clearly trash.
JQ (nodding in agreement): What’s something that you don’t want people to know about you?
AJ: So many things, which I shall not enumerate here.
JQ: Do you often use evasion to deflect?
AJ: I am the queen of evasion, yes.
JQ: I’m a big fan of your videos and have watched at least one. You seem to prefer the term cock over dick. Can you explain why this is the case.
AJ: Wow, at least one? That’s great, Jasmin. The truth is, I prefer the word dick over cock, but when I wrote for Ellora’s Cave (now out of business) they told their authors the word dick could only be used when we were writing from the male’s POV, because a woman wouldn’t realistically use the word dick, or think it. Isn’t that stupid? I think cock is the preferred, sexier word but I still like to say dick. Dick, dick, dick.
JQ: We have so much in common. I love dick too. But I do tend to only use it with the male POV, although I don’t think real-life females use the term cock either. In mixed company, I refer to the dick as a penis, junk, member, family jewels, staff of love and other pleasant euphemisms. In genteel company, I will address the blazing staff of love as an arbor vitae, which is high falutin’ for baby maker. And for Mr. Quinn, it is The Ambassador.
AJ: Don’t ambassadors have full diplomatic immunity, so they can commit any crime they like without repercussion? Geez, what do the two of you get up to in the bedroom? Sounds like an Annabel Joseph story idea.
JQ: You could title it The Ambassador’s Ambassador. I understand you have three small dogs. You say you like them because you can pick them up when they’re misbehaving, but really, isn’t it because the size of their poop is small?
AJ: They poop in the woods behind our house, so I never have to worry about that. I think my favorite thing about owning small dogs is that you can cuddle them like little babies. We had greyhounds when we were newly married, and you can’t hold them like babies as easily.
JQ: That leads to a philosophical query. If a dog poops in the woods and there’s no one around to see it, did the dog really poop?
AJ: No, of course not.
JQ: What are your dogs’ names? You say you pick them up when they’re naughty. What constitutes naughty? What do you do once you’ve picked them up? Do you shake them? Put them in a doggy time out. Tell them they’re bad and then kiss them on the lips while you’re holding your breath?
Annabel holding doggo like a baby (courtesy of AJ)
AJ: The Japanese Chin is named Cookie. God bless him, he’s blind as a bat. Walter and Harvey are terrier mutts, and the reason I usually have to pick them up is because they’re fighting with each other or fighting with Cookie because he stumbled into them by accident. I don’t shake them, I talk to them. I say stuff like, “Can’t we all be friends?” or “Be nice to your brother!” or “How can you beat up a blind dog?” Which is pointless because they don’t understand what I’m saying. But it makes me feel better.
JQ: So basically, you doggy-shame them. Speaking of loved ones, let’s talk about your children. I understand you have four children. I would ask why, but that often elicits defensiveness, so we’ll just go with the temporary insanity excuse (four times!). Instead, tell me, which of your four children is your favourite? Least favourite? If you love them all equally, which one will be most likely to look after you when you lose your mental faculties and why isn’t that child your favourite?
AJ: Hmm, let me pick a fave… No, it’s like they say. You love them equally but differently, which is kind of necessary because they’re all so insanely different. I’m pretty sure my oldest will look after me when I lose my mental faculties because she’s the only one of the four who remotely has her shit together. But she can’t be my favorite because she picked a really expensive college to attend. (sobs)
JQ: It’s a sad truth that society expects parents to be impartial to their offspring. I rotate my favourites every couple of months, although I don’t tell them. My daughter would be devastated to learn she’s my favourite only four months out of the year, although one year, she got six months, but only because one of my sons was dating a future serial killer.
AJ: Well, he shouldn’t have done that. Also, in the US we spell favourite like this: favorite. Fascinating!
JQ: And yet, we get along so well. Tell me more about Ivan. How did you meet? What attracted you to him? Is he your muse for your male characters?
AJ: I met Ivan in an Irish bar called Scruffy Murphy’s. Ours was a long and tumultuous flirtation before we finally hooked up, but it’s always been a classic opposites-attract love story with us. He is a very plainspoken, stable person and I’m very complicated and scattered, so we complete each other and all that. He brings the security and I bring the chaos. He brings the dominance and I bring the submission, at some times more than others, lol. Ivan has inspired many things in my books for sure.
JQ: Will you do something romantic on Valentine’s Day? (Mr. Quinn and I plan to order pizza and then eat it).
AJ: He usually brings me flowers and chocolate, and I give him romantic socks. Then we grant each other sexual favors very quietly so the kids don’t hear.
JQ: I think I love you both very much. Also, your dogs and I’m partial to your older daughter (despite her predilection for expensive colleges).
JQ: What genres do you enjoy reading? Do you have favourite authors outside the romance and erotica genres?
AJ: My favorite genre is artsy, fartsy literary books. I love really long, complicated books with really affecting endings. I also love romance and historical romance, of course. I think my favorite author outside romance/erotica is Kate Morton with her historical mystery books. The most recent book I read was A Reliable Wife by Robert Goolrick, and it was super fucked up and angsty and beautifully written.
JQ: Your historical romances were the catalyst for my return to historical romance books, although recently I’ve become hooked on Fishdom and have no time to read. I used to like artsy, fartsy literary books and long books. Now my preference is short and to the point. It may be due to my addiction to Fishdom.
AJ: I don’t know what Fishdom is. As a BDSM author, it makes me think about a Fish Dom, and, as we say in the South, that doesn’t sit well with me.
JQ: It also doesn’t sit well with Mr. Quinn. Fishdom is a soon-to-be-deleted game on my tablet. Speaking of undersea creatures, talk to me about your hermit crabs. How long did you have them? How many did you have? Did they live in a cage or were they free run? What were their names? Did they live to be 20 years old?
AJ: The hermit crabs were a birthday present for one of my daughters. She named them Nibbles, Gibbles, and Pebbles, and lost interest in them the first day, because they are incredibly boring pets. But I like weird things, and I appreciated them for their gangly, spider like appearance, so I threw myself into the hermit crab life, got them a big, luxury, sand-filled habitat and everything. When you look at them closely, they are fascinating and so detailed.
They switch shells now and again to keep life interesting, and also make very soft noises if you know what to listen for. Not only that, but every year or so, they bury themselves in the sand to molt. They just stay buried under there for WEEKS until they emerge one day like, SURPRISE! I’M NOT DEAD! I JUST SHED MY EXOSKELETON AND NOW I’M BIGGER! They also love to climb, if you set up little jungle gyms for them in their habitats, or little obstacles courses that you change around from time to time.
JQ: My dog, Piper, did that – not the molting, but the obstacle course and climbing.
Not the real Nibbles & Gibbles
AJ: Aww, now I miss my crabs. Nibbles and Gibbles were a bonded pair and lived almost eight years together. Pebbles died quite young. I miss them. I might get more hermies one day, but Nibbles and Gibbles would be a hard act to follow.
JQ: Now I want hermit crabs and also, oddly, I feel emotional. Fortunately, Mr. Quinn will refuse to let me have them and while I’ll stay mad at him, I will also secretly be relieved. Moving off the sensitive topic of crabs, I understand you went to high school. Do people get jealous when they find out? You’ve also said that you attended three different ones. What did you do to get kicked out of the first two?
AJ: Going to high school was great! And I wasn’t kicked out of any of them. Are you kidding? They begged me to stay. Who wouldn’t want Annabel Joseph as an alumni?
JQ: You make a good point. I wish you were my alumni. Talk to me about your new release, A Quartet of Pleasures. You’ve described it as four related shorts about a woman in a string quartet who sleeps with her three co-musicians in separate trysts, and then all together. Where did you come up with the idea? Is it related to your Alto 1 skills? Is it based on your real life?
AJ: Basically, I really like the arts, and I like the idea of one lucky woman fielding lots of handsome cocks, so a quartet seemed like a good way to get them together. An entire orchestra would have been too much!
JQ: Speaking from experience, you are absolutely right about the orchestra. I loved A Quartet of Pleasures (I may have already mentioned that). And the spanking regency romances and the legacy books. They are all on my go-to list when I need a good lusty read. I have yet to read the rest of your catalogue, but I intend to do so. Except for Mephisto, which I read. I want to read the other two books in the series, but I’m afraid to. You definitely put the hard in hard core and caused me to think thoughtfully, neither of which I like to do.
By the way, did you know that Mephisto is a supervillain in the Marvel Comics universe, which is ironic given that you don’t like superhero movies or maybe you don’t like the superheroes but you’re good with the supervillains?
AJ: I didn’t know that about Mephisto! I named him after the actual devil, Mephistopheles. Also, the other two books in the Mephisto series are actually less scary than the first one, so don’t be afraid. I mean, they’re still kind of scary but…
JQ: If you could have your own string quartet, comprising you and three others, which of your male characters would be in it and why? What instrument would you play? What instruments would they play?
AJ: I think I’d be on second violin like Ruby in my story. First violin is Milo from Dangerous Control, obviously. Viola players are famously weird, so I’ll put W from the Rough Love books in there, because he’s crazy as fuck. Cello player would be August from My Naughty Minette because he’s angsty and musically talented. Then we’d need some roadies for the away concerts…Jeremy, Theo, the Duke of Arlington…
Read them all! I insist!
JQ: Nice choices, particularly August. I also like your idea of roadies.
AJ: Angsty August.
JQ:My Naughty Minette was my favourite among the four, which means nothing, since I loved them all.
JQ: You’ve been writing for 10 years. What an amazing accomplishment. Over those 10 years, what are some hard truths you’ve learned? How have you grown as a writer? Is there something you’d do differently at the beginning now that you’re wiser?
AJ: One hard truth is that writer’s block is real, that inspiration isn’t always there when you need it. As for growing as a writer, you really do get better as you write, just from the experience, and from reading suggestions given by your editors. Some of my early stuff is so cringy to me now. Not the characters or storylines, just the execution, because I was inexperienced. I accept that my backlist is representative of my “ripening” as an author. Just like a juicy peach.
JQ: How very Georgian of you. How often do you publish?
AJ: When I started, it was four full-length books a year, sometimes a couple novellas on top of that. I can’t do that anymore, because I want to avoid burn out, lol. Now if I get two books out, and maybe an anthology appearance, I’m happy.
JQ: I’m about to get uncharacteristically gushy. If you have a medical condition that is exacerbated by gushiness or if you are allergic, please step back. I’m not really a historical romance kind of girl, but your historical spanking romances scratch my exact itch. Questions for you that I asked myself while I was reading.
JQ: Do the women not wear underwear?
AJ: Like panties? During that time, no, they did not. Panties were considered scandalous.
JQ: Do the men?
AJ: Not usually, but they had very long shirt tails that they used to tuck and cover.
JQ: Do the men bathe in front of the female help?
AJ: The finest men had (male) valets to assist them in bathing and shaving. The maids were just scurrying back and forth bringing water and stuff. Maybe they took a peek.
JQ: The ginger has made me curious. Was that really a historical practice? Is it a current thing?
AJ: Yes, it was a historical practice, because they were kinky as fuck back then. And yes, it is also a current thing. It’s called figging. Google it!
JQ: Oh, I googled it. Oh, oh dear. I’m such an innocent.
Things to do with ginger
JQ: The descriptions related to the time period seem incredibly accurate, though I have no experience with the time period other than some poems and a dry history book I never read. Are the descriptions real or are you making shit up? Or is it half and half? What half does the ginger fall into?
AJ: Haha. They definitely used ginger up the arse to increase the ouchiness of spankings or birchings. As for the time period accuracy, I do a lot of research and read a lot of books set in that era, but I’m sure I get some things wrong here and there. I try my best.
JQ: Are you a scholar of that time period?
Annabel’s shelf of taxable deductions!
AJ: Only insofar as I have a whole shelf of books about the Regency and Victorian eras. I deducted the cost of them on my taxes. Business expense!
JQ: You are a genius! You said you’re planning to release another legacy historical spanking romance next. What’s it about? Do you have a title for it? And most importantly, when can I expect to read it?
AJ: The next book is about Lord Townsend, who stormed off in the previous book after his (former) best friend Lord Wescott stole the woman of his dreams. Now Townsey is back and better than ever, trying to get some revenge that ends up blowing up in his face. I don’t have a title yet. I know there will be spanking, though, lots of spanking.
JQ: Do you read reviews of your books? What do your reviewers get the crankiest about? How do you keep their voices out of your head when you’re writing?
AJ: The biggest criticism I get in reviews is that my kink level or heat level was not compatible with that reader. Maybe they didn’t like deep slavery, or breeding fetish, or chastity. I don’t look at reviews much anymore. I’m more likely to chat with my established readers to see what they like or dislike, since they’re my target. But I do appreciate reviews, both good and bad, because they can help the right readers find my books.
JQ: Nicely said. Let’s pretend that you’ve been asked to write a book called 50 Shades of Green. What will you name the main characters and what will it be about?
AJ: There’s Chartreuse and Hunter, the main heroine/hero, then her best friend Verditee and Hunter’s best bud Sage. In between kinky shit with green Jello and Jolly Green Giant roleplay, they advocate for environmental awareness. The climactic chapter is called Go Green and Suck My Peen!
JQ: I love it! What will you title it?
AJ: Fifty Shades of Green. That’s it. That’s the title.
JQ(confirming once and for all that there are stupid questions): I suffer from memory loss. Perhaps I should ease back on the drink. Let’s change the subject. Tell me about one of your childhood dreams that has been crushed by reality.
AJ: Definitely too old to dance with the New York City Ballet at this point.
JQ: Are you too old, but extremely talented? Or was your lack of talent a dream crusher as well?
AJ: I have zero ballet talent. Less than zero. Negative twenty ballet talent. I have super short legs.
JQ: I’m sorry to hear about your legs.
Quick questions:
JQ: Garden gnomes – eye-pleasing or scourge of the art world? Explain
AJ: Scourge of the world. I won’t say art world because they’re not art. They’re trash.
Garden Gnome Massacre
JQ (writing note to self about getting rid of Mr. Quinn’s garden gnome Halloween costume): What’s your preferred murder weapon?
AJ: Icicles, because once you stab somebody with one, the ice melts and there’s no evidence. Clean getaway.
JQ: What will you most likely to get arrested for? Explain
AJ: Ogling barely legal lifeguards. I refuse to explain.
Brilliant cover courtesy of AJ
JQ: No explanation necessary. What should I title your unauthorized biography?
AJ: If She Wrote It, She At Least Tried To Put Anal In It. It’s pretty self explanatory. Do you know some of my readers nicknamed me Anal-bel?
JQ: I didn’t know that, but it certainly makes sense. Penguins or Kangaroos – which is most likely to win an arm-wrestling contest? Why?
AJ: I feel like this is a trick question. I like both those animals so let’s just say they’d both “win” in their own way.
JQ: hmmm. Another evasive answer and also a little sweet letting everyone win a participation ribbon, but I guess it is Valentine’s Day after all. Before we say our goodbyes, is there anything else you’d like to address.
AJ: I think the best movie of all time is Get Him to the Greek. Also, I’m coming around to seeing Harry Styles as a real artist. There’s something there.
Harry Styles – too young to stalk but not too young to do.
JQ: Wow… that’s very random. But so that you know that I hear you, I have put Get Him to the Greek on my to-do list. In terms of Harry Styles, I am too busy listening to string quartets and playing Fishdom to listen to him. But based on his good looks, I’ve put him on my other to-do list.
AJ: You go, girl.
JQ: Thank you, Annabel, for interviewing with me. I’m starstruck by your talent and zest for ginger and all things kinky. I love learning new things and you sent me down a Wikipedia road that Alice in Wonderland would be in awe of. Plus, I’ve gotten to look at a lot of regency porn.
AJ: YAY! My work here is done!
Annabel Joseph is a NYT and USA Today bestselling BDSM erotic romance author. She writes mainly contemporary romance, although she has been known to dabble in the medieval and Regency eras.
Stay up-to-date with Annabel’s latest news by following her on social media:
That was so much fun, I’m going to do it all over again next month. After a tremendous amount of badgering, whining, and threats of extortion, Nikita Slater has agreed to do another interview with me!
Nikita Slater is the International Bestselling author of The Queens series, Fire & Vice series, The Sanctuary series, Driven Hearts series and several standalone novels. When she isn’t writing, dreaming about writing or talking about writing, she helps others discover a love of reading and writing through literacy and social work.
I hope everyone is having a hopelessly romantic Valentines Day!
A little Valentines vintage porn by Thomas Rowlandson
Dear Holiday Revellers and Readers with really great taste!
HO! HO! OH! Season’s Greetings!
This month, I got a letter from my Secret Santa (Mr. Quinn, because we’re the only two that participate in our secret Santa exchange), explaining that I was on the naughty list. So I sent him a list of naughty things I wanted. He’s not as much fun as you would think (living with me and all). He refused my request for a reverse harem, a nude painting of Ryan Reynolds in our bedroom, and said no to dressing up as a pirate and kidnapping and ravishing me.
So I put him on my naughty list (I’m Mr. Quinn’s secret Santa, if you haven’t already guessed) and refused his request to wear a sexy cat woman costume and let him pretend he’s Batman.
He’s Batman
It has become a battle of wills with so many unanswered questions. Who will break first? Will I get my reverse harem or will Mr. Quinn get cat woman claw marks on his back? Or will we both get what we want? Doubtful.
In anticipation of Mr. Quinn losing, I’m currently making a list of who I want in my reverse harem.
How many men will be in my reverse harem?Will Ryan Reynolds be on my list? If not, who will I replace him with? Will I find a pirate for my reverse harem? Where will I put all the men?
Why am I now talking in questions?
Putting all that naughty stuff aside, I’ve become enamored with pirates and now want a tattoo of one, naked except for the eye patch, the hat and the sword. Which sword you ask? Both of course – the cutlass at his side, and the hard big one between his legs. They will both be curved for maximum effectiveness. No parrot though. I don’t want to freak out my caregiver when I get too old to look after myself.
Moving along!
I know you’re thinking that those are eyeballs, but they’re not. They’re tealights, although if you want to pretend they’re eyeballs, I’m on board.
Two years ago on Christmas, I released The Darkest Hour. Since then I’ve released a total of 10 Running with the Devil Books, 2 Shifters of Darkness Falls books, and 6 novellas, 5 of which were co-authored with my girl, Nikita Slater.
Also, Mr. Quinn and I celebrated our anniversary on December 26th. It always lands on that day, no matter how we try to avoid it. We used to take turns buying the anniversary card, but we lost track of whose turn it was, so now we just mumble and wheeze “Happy Anniversary!” when we wake up in the morning.
Lots more to celebrate coming up! Let’s talk about New Year’s resolutions.
Do you make them? I do, every year. New Year’s resolutions help me set my goals.
The Witcher (swoon)
NYR #1. Get a new stalkee. Henry Cavill is a serious contender since I binge-watched The Witcher. Oh my fucking god, he’s hot in that show! My pulse is increasing as I’m writing about him and my stomach just did that twirly thing. Where’s Mr. Quinn when I need him? Oh yeah, golfing. I hope he loses his balls (no, I don’t – he’s very needy when he’s in pain). I’ll continue to stalk RR despite his lack of attention to me. He’s been busy.
NYR #2.
Blog more. At least once a month, maybe more. And not just rambling unfocused blogs, but serious ones about universe stuff and why water has no colour. I also intend to interview some of my favourite authors and hope to publish one interview per month (that’s 12 interviews next year for anyone who doesn’t want to do the math).
NYR#2 continued.
Who are these authors you ask? Well, I know who they are, but they don’t know that they’re going to get interviewed by me and I think they should hear it from me first (otherwise they’ll block me). Except for my January interview. I know, she knows, and so you can know too. I timed my request while she was drunk (possibly high) and had a turkey hangover. She slurred, “Yes!”
The Grand Reveal!
My January interview will be none other than the amazing DeeDee Prince (aka Scarlett Starkleigh)! I’m so excited to finally get Ms. Prince on the couch with me to have a serious one-to-one. I hope she wears her Scarlett outfit! We’re currently working out the details of the interview, such as: Who’s supplying the jello shots? What flavour should they be? How do you pronounce Zane (not as easy as think since the h is silent and also invisible).
NYR#3. Write like no one’s watching, which is easy to do, since no one is watching. That would be creepy, wouldn’t it?
NYR#4. Eat less creamed corn. Also easy because I only ate creamed corn once in 2019 and it was under duress (and I was also probably drunk). It’s on my list of Things I Don’t Like So Much along with houseplants (which tops the list) and the word, hyena (it’s an impossible word to pronounce, it’s missing an h (hyhena, am I right?) and it comes across as an onomatopoeia, which is also another word on the list because I can’t spell or pronounce it and it fancies itself superior to all other literary devices. .
There are so many reasons not like it.
Because I can’t spell it, I call it the ‘o’ word, which annoys me because everyone knows the the ‘O’ word is orgasm. I differentiate by using the lower case ‘o’ for the word I cannot say. It’s kind of fun, because I think little ‘o’ is compensating for it’s small penis by being an unpronounceable shit. By the way, penis is a noun, while cock, dick, and junk are also nouns although some may call them figurative. I just call them cool names for penis that I like to use in my books. I have no idea why I threw that in. I just like saying dick, I think. And I like nouns too.
I’m not done ranting about little ‘o’ with the big attitude. It’s ironic (one of the words on my list of Things I Like A Lot) that an unpronounceable word is used to define words that mimic the thing described, making the description more expressive and interesting (I stole that shit from literarydevices.net). Also, according to examples.yourdictionary.com/, boing is an example of the ‘o’ word. Hmmm.
My brain is boinging around trying to figure that out. By the way, I don’t like the A Lot. The TWO words are Siamese twins pretending to be fraternal. I call bullshit on that!
And people say I’m not a deep thinker. Actually no one says that. They just stare at me and shake their heads.
Because I can’t let this go, here is a woeful Holiday Tale sprinkled with as many ‘o’ words as I could fit. Maybe even one big ‘O’.
I love all my books and all my heroes, but Rob Creed might just be my favourite because he’s rich, he’s sexy, he’s commanding, he’s rough, but he’s also got a good soul. He’s the kind of guy who will fall in love with you and keep you forever. And he’s also really great in bed and in the kitchen, and by the pool, and in a BDSM club and… and… and….
Rob snapped a hand to Emma’s throat, dragging her to him, his face inches from hers. “Respect me, baby or you’ll be in for a world of hurt.”
Robert Creed’s dark desires got him locked up for the murder of his girlfriend. Exonerated, his plan for vengeance involves Emma, a beautiful woman who might just be Rob’s undoing.
Emma has a plan. Get her drug-addicted sister cleaned up and then find somewhere to hide far away from the sadistic reach of her boss, Randall Scott.
What she doesn’t count on is Robert Creed, a man who catches her interest and steals her heart. But he’s hard, dangerous and grieving, and he’s using Emma to get to her boss.
History repeats itself when Emma goes missing, but this time Rob will move heaven and earth to defeat his enemy and save his woman.
Fallen Angel is book 10 of the Running with the Devil Series. All books are standalone and can be read in any order. ***Trigger warning: this book contains a violent sexual assault committed by a secondary character.
Other reasons to Celebrate this Holiday Season!
Two of my favourite authors have released books this holiday season!
Check out Nikita Slater’s new book, Burning Beauty (Fire and Vice Book 8)! I had a chance to read this epic 5-star thrill ride in advance of its release day (which is today!) I loved every single sexy moment of it.
Scarlett Starkleigh (aka as DeeDee Prince) has a hot new romance out and when I say hot, I mean out of this world hot! Hot Alpha Alien Husbands: Book 2: Zane and Tanya is an excellent 5-star read.
What can you expect from the desk of Jasmin Quinn in 2020?
Nothing. My desk is selfish and unrepentant. It hides my stuff, destroys my pencils and bruises me with its sharp corners.
From me though, I have so much planned that I’ll probably have to get Henry Cavill to superman me up or maybe Gerault me to new heights. Did I just use the little ‘o’ word?
First, Alpha’s Prey (Shifters of Darkness Falls Book 3) is already available on Amazon for preorders. Buy now and get the e-copy on February 28th, 2020! Or wait and read it for FREE on Kindle Unlimited.
I’m loving the pairing of Gideon and Honey – this one’s going to be dark, but full of hotness and fun too! I’ll share an excerpt in my Facebook group (Jasmin’s Dark Side) soon.
What else you ask? And even if you didn’t, I’m still going to say.
A 50,000 word freebie for my newsletter subscribers (YOU!) in March/April.
Mr. Jackman finally gets his book! Expect Mr. Master (Running with the Devil Book 11) in early May! This one will be extremely hot! I cannot wait to work on it!
Unleashed is a standalone full-length book that I’ve been working on for about a year. I hope to have it ready for release in early June.
Late June/early July, I’ll be releasing Rogue (Shifters of Darkness Falls Book 4).
My 12th and final Running with the Devil book will come out in late August/early September. This is bittersweet for me, so expect a couple of novellas some time in the future. I fear I’m going to have empty nest syndrome.
I will also be writing a 40k book for an anthology to be published in December 2020.
And with a little luck I’ll be able to squeeze in one more Darkness Falls book.
Finally, I’ve read a lot of MC books this year and love the genre. So I”m planning a new MC series, with the first book probably coming out early in the 2021.
It’s truly been an amazing 2019, in very big part due to my supportive readers. I love to write. I’m doing my dream job and it’s wonderful after many years of working in a job that stole parts of my soul.
Happy Holidays to all of you and my very best wishes for a fantastic 2020!
Hello to those of you who have great taste in Romance Books and anyone else reading my blog!
It’s another marvelous day in British Columbia! First, I had cake for breakfast. I don’t always have cake for breakfast, but when I do, I have a lot of cake.
Second, my car is getting serviced. I’m so pleased that there’s a spa for cars – mine is getting a flush job, a rear-end alignment, and a full body waxing. Mistress Three-Point (one for each nipple), who checked my baby in, said that they would also turn back time and make my boy an hour younger.
My car is getting old, but he’s still a good little ride. One day I’ll tell you about Christine, my husband’s car – she’s evil. I think that’s why my husband likes her (he says she reminds him of me).
My stunt double in case you were wondering if I have long blonde hair and a body that can rock that dress. No to both.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, cake for breakfast, servicing for the boy car and… and… I have a new book out!
Yep, you heard it here first or not, probably not, unless you just tripped over this blog or don’t follow my social media, which is too bad because there are giveaways and stuff and also people are hilarious (mostly me…okay…again not true, but other people are hilarious).
Fierce Intentions, the second installment in the Shifters of Darkness Falls series, is out! Yes! Shifters, wolves, and a romance between a hot muscled shifter and a sexy cop named Eva. It’s divine!
And also here, though that here is because of Nikita Slater’s release of The Last Sanctuary, which ironically is also the last book in her Sanctuary Trilogy.
Or maybe it was planned that way, though I doubt it. You should also read it because I did and no one wants me to one-up them. I’m quite impossible when I have the upper hand. Also, the books are EPIC (my word of the week) – great world-building, awesome characters, suspenseful, romantic and a happy ending.
Let’s move on to Prince Albert, Saskatchewan (not really, no one has to move there if they don’t want), which by the way, just celebrated Waste Reduction Week. I got confused thinking they meant waistreduction week so I phoned them for advice. The only advice the dear old white-haired man (yes, I stalked him on Facebook) had for me was to stop eating cake for breakfast.
Stunt double of white-haired man after seeing PA Piercing.
Having exhausted that line of discussion, we moved on to what Prince Albert is most famous for, which is piercings. The poor old man didn’t understand until I told him to google-image it.
He’s dead now.
I can’t get anyone else in Prince Albert to help me on my quest (they saw what killed him and now I’m officially on a do-not-engage list), so I had to turn to my friend, Master Google, who is extremely accommodating (gold star for me – I got the spelling right on first try).
Apparently, the real Prince Albert had one. Why did he have one? Well according to rumour (I’m not making this shit up, although I suspect somebody did), it was a so-called dressing ring used to pull the penis into tight-fitting fashions. Another rumour suggests he wore it to keep his foreskin retracted and fresh smelling so as not to offend the Queen. It must have worked – they had NINE children. NINE! Fuck me, and I don’t mean literally. Okay, I also mean literally, but not if you want babies.
Another rumour is that Italian Fascist dictator Benito Mussolini had a Prince Albert, which he used for stress reduction (eyes rolling here – not really, my eyes don’t roll – sorry if I freaked anyone out) and he cut holes in the pockets of his pants so he could grab the ring and tug on it when he was feeling anxious. I drink to relieve stress because I don’t have a penis to play with. Well, I kind of do, but it’s in my husband’s pants, so it’s not always convenient.
Why am I wasting all this good virtual paper on the PA Piercing and forcing myself to remember i comes before e (just like I comes before my husband or he’s in big trouble)? Thank you for asking. I’m fixated on PA Piercings because I read about one in a book and I didn’t know what it was, so I did what any sane person would do. I google-imaged it!!!
FUCK ME (see above for the literalness of this statement)!!!!
Random tattooed guy in tub with Prince Albert Piercing (who is legally licensed unlike wallpaper guy)
I showed my husband, who was a little offended that I was googling penises though he shouldn’t be. I have a tattooed biker for wallpaper on my monitor (who has a Prince Albert piercing under his jeans) (and also, he’s not wearing underwear) (and also he’s hung like Aztec). My husband never says a word about him, but apparently he draws the line at penises with piercings.
Starfish with Prince Albert Piercing
I mentioned my naivete in my FB Group, Jasmin’s Dark Side (you should totally join), and there was some discussion about it. Mostly everyone was surprised that they knew more than I did. I’m lying, no one was surprised. It’s well-known that I only know random things like a starfish’s leg will grow back should it get amputated. Everything else, I wing – like the whole i before e controversy. Then, and I’m not going to name names (it’s really hard for me to resist naming names), one of the Dark Siders said penises were ugly.
Not that I’m disagreeing, but also know that I lie regularly unless it’s about important things like what kind of toppings I want on pizza. Just heard from my husband. Apparently penises are important too. And he’s right, dammit!
Penis are wildly interesting, highly addictive and somewhat attractive. I’ve never wanted to have one (literally), but they look good on most men, although I haven’t seen all the penis of the men I know – husband gets cranky when I ask his friends to drop their pants. I particularly like the long, wide hard models that come (see what I did there?) with two balls.
One-ball BiL. He’s also a pirate. And a cat. (joking, this is his stunt double)
Speaking of balls, my brother-in-law (let’s call him BiL) only has one ball although he started out in life with two, but had a golfing accident (it’s so easy to lose balls on the golf course), which forced all his sperm to live together in a single testicle. The sperms don’t like how crowded it is in there so BiL says he has to make space regularly.
Because BiL is one giant prick (not really, so says my husband, who apparently has seen him without underwear), I like to remind him of his lack of ball. BiL also didn’t know the difference between a dildo and a vibrator, so I explained it to him during a fun game of charades. He now knows, but won’t talk to me anymore. I told my husband it’s because he has no ball.
A Foot Long Hot Dog with a Prince Albert Piercing
Time to wrap this up because I have some things to do like eat more cake (not really, I’m over my cake binge – now I want a hot dog) and pick up my naughty little car from the brothel… I mean spa. He’ll be obnoxiously relaxed so I’ll scare the crap out of him by running a few red lights.
Before I go, a quick note on what’s next. Robert Creed, the wrongly convicted killer in Hard Lessons (Running with the Devil Book 5), gets his own book on December 27, 2019. I’m so excited to write this one! After Fallen Angel (Running with the Devil Book 10), I’ll be working on Alpha’s Prey (Shifters of Darkness Falls Book 3) which I plan to publish February 28th, 2020.
Happy adventures to everyone and because it’s almost Halloween, don’t choke on a camel!
Dear fellow readers who collect pictures of sexy men and put them on your computer in a folder labelled Tuna Casserole recipes, and also those of you who don’t.
Did you know I’m awesome at Texas Hold ’em?
“Why aren’t you rich then?” you ask.
First, I have no poker face. Seriously, the minute I have the potential for a winning hand, my knees start to shake, my hands start to perspirate, my voice starts to break, my feet start to aspirate (it’s really perspirate, but I’ve taken poetic licence with the lyrics).
Total rip-off of lyrics from Bill Amesbury’s Virginia Touch me like you do, which I now can’t get out of my head. Let’s have a group sing!
Back to my unrealized dream of being a world-renowned Texas Hold ’em player and all the booze, men and fame that goes along with that. Unlike Mack Welling (see what I did there? No? Guess you’ll have to read Wild Card ), I’m an open book when I’m excited, which is a lot of the time – not just when I’m playing poker.
I’ve played online poker, which is where I discovered my Rainman genius (just kidding, I’m not Rainman, although I can do simple math in my head as long as I can see my fingers and toes), but I still get overstimulated, and not in a “please don’t stop” way. When things aren’t going my way, I sometimes melt down like a nuclear reactor in Nikita Slater’s Sanctuary on Fire (I don’t think that was a spoiler).
Long story short, that’s why I write books.
And speaking of books, Wild Card is in a virtual book store near you (provided you have internet, a computer or tablet and a kindle app). Paperback will also be available right after I proof the Proof, which will take a couple of weeks because the Proof comes from the U.S.
Toronto Blue Jays in Seattle
Which brings me to the United States (literally). I was in Seattle recently because the Toronto Blue Jays were in town playing the Seattle Mariners. That’s baseball for you folks that either don’t follow the sport or ignore all other teams unless they’re yours. The Toronto Blue Jays is the only major league baseball team in Canada and they are east of my house (West Coast Canada) by several provinces. So when Seattle hosts the Blue Jays, it’s one big British Columbian migration south of the 49th parallel.
I love men in tight white pants (sigh).
I also want to shout out to Seattle and Washington state, in general. The people are incredibly friendly and the city and state are beautiful.
Me shopping!
Also, there’s an outlet mall that’s to die for. Clearly, I didn’t die, but that’s because I was forced back to the car by my sister and her husband. My hub knows better than to do anything but observe while I’m in my natural habitat. There were a few hurt feelings and some scratches that bled, but we’re all back to being civil. I even shared my popcorn with my sister at the baseball game (but only because it was bottomless).
Okay, enough about my shit. Let’s get on with the real news.
Wild Card (Running with the Devil Book 9) is the next installment of my Running with the Devil series. Mack Welling is in trouble and only Astrid Bure can help him (not true, but for the sake of the story, let’s go with that). Then Mack gets out of trouble and Astrid gets into it and only Mack can help her (also not true – see previous sentence).
Mack is a cool, sexy character that I based on my husband (also not true – am I becoming a compulsive liar?). Mack has so many demons he could keep an exorcist in business for 20 years. But of course, everyone lives happily ever after except the bad guys. Wait? What? Which bad guys? Guess you’ll have to read to find out.
What’s next?
The second installment in my Darkness Falls series, Fierce Intentions, is what’s next! It will be hot, dangerous and uh… hmmm…. just hot and dangerous. Eva, spunky female cop from Basic Instinct (Book 1 of Shifters of Darkness Falls)and Aztec, broody mountain pack shifter also from Book 1 will find trouble when Aztec’s past comes back to bite him the ass.
Fierce Intentions will be released October 25th, 2019.
AND…
Fallen Angel (Running with the Devil Book 10) will also release this year on December 27.Fallen Angel picks up where Wild Card leaves off. Wild Card DOES NOT end on a cliffhanger, but the last line in the epilogue segues to Fallen Angel, and that’s all I’m going to say about that right now. More to come. Always more to come.
What does that mean?
(I think that my use of questions to transition to the next topic is becoming a habit, although not necessarily a bad one. I only have one habit that really bothers my husband, but it’s not my fault that my incisors are as sharp as they are. He just needs to learn to lie still.)
Including Fallen Angel, there are only three more books in the Running with the Devil series. However, I’m in process of writing a free bonus book related to the series (hoping to release in January) as well as a prequel and a postquel (postquel is now an official new word!), both of which will be about 50k in length. The entire series will be wrapped up in 2020.
The Shifters of Darkness Falls will have 10 books in total. If all goes according to plan, I will release 4 Darkness Falls books in 2020.
AND… I want to start an MC series as well as write a few standalone books and another dark romance series. I’ve started quite a number of books in the past couple of years and so I want to finish some of them.
RR in a candid moment
Ambitious? Absolutely. Crazy? Without a doubt!
I may have to make sacrifices such as giving up stalking. Geez, just the thought of giving up RR makes my knees start to shake, my hands start to perspirate, my voice start to break, my feet start to aspirate.
I hope you all had an amazing summer and I look forward to reconnecting with you in the fall.
In the meantime, I leave you with this little bit of wisdom. Always make sure you cite your source in case the passage comes from Frankenstein by Mary Shelly and you don’t tell your sister, who then uses it in your father’s In Memorium passage.
It’s been a long two months and I really should have blogged before, but if you read my last blog, you know I misplaced my sense of humour. I couldn’t find it anywhere for a while.
But then I watched some cool vintage porn and fuck if I didn’t find it under the remote control. I’m kidding – it wasn’t really under the remote control.
What are we going to talk about today?
New Releases because I have some! I’m also going to confess a few of my past sins! And the big news! I’ve managed to get an interview with none other than Raff of Basic Instinct fame.
New Releases!
Past Sins is out and I’m so excited about it! I sometimes don’t know where a book is going to go or what the characters are going to do until I’m fully into the writing of it. Like in this book, Katya wanted to dye her hair pink.
My editor said, “No, nope, no way, and also don’t do it.”
I said, “So editor, what you’re saying is that she shouldn’t dye her hair pink?”
She said, “That’s what I’m saying.”
I said, “But editor, one of my major plot elements relies on the pink hair.”
Cool Katya with Pink Hair versus Lame Katya with a FIFA Cap
She said, “Put a FIFA cap on her instead.” That last part’s a lie. My editor is not that helpful. But I did put a FIFA cap on Katya’s head, which wasn’t a happy moment for me.
Back to Past Sins – Aleksei is a badass assassin contracted to grab Katya, torture her for information, retrieve the item she stole six years ago and kill her. Sounds simple, right? Problem is Aleksei is terrifying, has no moral compass and doesn’t quite know how to manage his growing feelings for Katya.
I know what everyone wants to ask. Is there cheating? No, nope. No cheating! Although Aleksei doesn’t always treat Katya kindly because his character is controlling, and he feels out of control around her. He’s an assassin and a self-admitted prick.
CELEBRATION TIME!
Who likes FREE STUFF? I do! I’m not kidding. I love trolling for free e-books, cool free graphics, free font types and the list goes on and on!
While no one was looking, Nikita Slater and I released another novella in the After Dark Series.
Hostile Takeover is a little gem that pits Dru agains Liam in a battle of the sexes. I know not everyone will agree, but this is my favourite book so far. I don’t know why except maybe I have a fantasy or two about being in a hotel room with a sexy colleague (is that cheating?).
I know my husband once fantasized about a banker. Yeah, I know that’s weird, but it turned into a fight and resulted in us accidentally stealing gas. Yep, that was Past Sin #1.
JASMIN’S PAST SINS
I used to be a party girl and then I got older and lamer and also married, which shouldn’t take the party out of the girl, but maybe I’m more settled now. Or maybe there’s other things to do on Saturday night when you have a living, breathing sex toy to experiment on. Why am I oversharing? I think because it’s a good segue into my Past Sins.
So Past Sin #1 was stolen gas.
Past Sin#2: I killed someone, put his body in the trunk of a car and threw it into a dugout in Saskatchewan. I’m joking. I’ve only fantasized about it.
Real Past Sin #2: I once did a strip tease in a bar. Just that one time and I borrowed a lot of socks and jackets from everyone and totally layered up, before I layered down. How delayered did I get, you ask? Let’s just say, everyone got their socks back.
Past Sin #3: I watch porn – the stuff that goes on between consenting adults and is female friendly. As a writer of steamy romance, I need to stay current with the latest blowjob techniques. Hubby likes when I practice on him.
Okay, hubby says that’s enough confessions for today.
There was a lot of controversy regarding my first Darkness Falls Shifter Book, Basic Instinct, particularly the scene between Raff and Ascena at her house. I was surprised and dismayed, so I called Raff and asked him if he’d come in for a wee chat, just to clear the air. He was surprisingly accommodating (so not as big a prick as some readers make him out to be).
Raff came to Vancouver to interview with me because I’m a little afraid of flying and to get to Darkness Falls, you’ve got to take some small planes. (FYI – the only time I ever really pray is on planes and in casinos. Please God, don’t strike me down!)
We met in his hotel room, because wolves aren’t allowed in my condo building. I’m going to confess, if fantasizing about sleeping with Raff is cheating on my husband, I did a whole lot of cheating while I was writing Basic Instinct.
Not an actual photo of Raff
Raff seemed a little grouchy, but then he always does. He and I decided to get straight to the point.
JQ: May I call you Raff?
Raff (grouchy, gravelly, sexy voice): I don’t have a last name, so I guess you’re gonna have to call me Raff unless you want to call me Sir.
JQ (blushing): Okay… uh… Sir. What do you mean you don’t have a last name?
Oops!
Raff: It’s weird. All the humans in Darkness Falls have last names, but none of the shifters, except for Cooper.
JQ: That seems to be a bit of an oversight. Hasn’t anyone noticed?
Raff (shaking his head): Nope. But I think it’s high time we got last names. How do we file income tax, open bank accounts, get credit cards?
JQ: Why do you think they haven’t noticed?
Raff (crosses his arms and scowls): Because they’re too fucking caught up in the “cheating” scandal.
JQ (nodding sagely): Yes. I heard about that. People… some women… really got upset when Ascena took a ride on your crotch.
Raff: Yeah. Can’t figure it out. Sure, I thought about having one last hurrah, who the fuck wouldn’t? I had an attractive woman gyrating on my lap. I’m a guy. Never happen to you?
JQ (blushing again – good grief!): No. I’ve never had an attractive woman gyrate on my lap. I’ve wished it, though. No men, either.
Raff: I suppose thinking about fucking another woman is what gets women’s panties in a knot.
JQ (looking at him meaningfully): Well, if I were wearing panties, they would be in a knot because of what I’m thinking right now, Sir.
Raff: Aren’t you married?
JQ: Irrevelant.
Raff: Not irrelevant. Isn’t that cheating, thinking about some other guy and getting all steamy in the nether regions?
JQ tries to interrupt but Raff’s on a tirade.
Raff: You women read erotic books about fucking and get turned on. Guys with big muscles on the covers. Some of you even watch porn.
JQ (pointing at myself): Me. I do… watch porn, I mean.
Raff: Then you take it personally when a guy gets an erection because another woman is throwing herself at him.
JQ: I didn’t take it personally. I know you’re a good guy, Raff. I know that you left before you let it go further.
Raff (seeming mollified): You’re fucking right I did.
JQ: There were also criticisms about how you treated Ascena.
Raff (shrugging): I’m an insensitive prick. I didn’t realize there was more to the relationship than fuck buddies. And I’m a fucking shifter. We don’t do teddy bears and chocolate kisses.
JQ: It’s what I like about you shifters, all rough and tumble, but good hearts.
Raff (rolling his eyes): Don’t go getting all soft on me now, Jas. You have another book to write.
JQ: I know. Eva and Aztec. Problem is Eva’s not really too keen on shifters right now.
Raff: Yeah, and Aztec’s a big motherfucker with no finesse.
JQ: Unlike you.
Raff (narrowing his eyes): Is that sarcasm?
JQ (widening her eyes): If you want it to be.
Raff (baring his teeth): You know I could eat you for breakfast.
JQ (biting my lip): I wanted to hear those words from Jack Creed. Coming from you, it feels a little literal.
Raff (getting up): It is literal, baby. Got stuff to do.
And that was the end of the interview. Not terribly enlightening or convincing, but there you have it folks.
That’s all I got!
Happy Canada Day to all my Canadian friends! Hope you have a fantastic July 1st celebration!
Happy Independence Day to all my American friends! Enjoy your July 4th celebrations!
Safeword (After Dark Series collaboration with Nikita Slater) is available and sitting on the virtual bookshelf! All of you who have pre-ordered should now have the book in your hot little virtual hands!
I love the concept of Safewords. Everyone should have them. In fact, I think that when you reach the age of consent, you should be required to have two safewords – one for red and one for yellow. They would be officially documented on your driver’s licence. You could use them on everything. Government tax forms, meals in restaurants, BDSM sex clubs. And you could have them on vanity plates.
Jasmin’s Safeword
Mine would be ‘Yes Please’ for yellow and ‘Please, Please’ for red (I’m a very polite girl).
Except FB probably wouldn’t approve my choices. And as we all know, Facebook runs the world.
I’m unable to talk about my secret stalkee today because I have bigger fish to fry (and no, that’s not a clue to his identity… I don’t think). RR is on the back burner too, because I’m tussling with Facebook again and they’re hard to reach.
My Phone Call with Mr. Facebook
I did manage to get through to Mr. Facebook himself after several hours of waiting. I told him (yeah, a man, maybe a priest), that I would be recording the conversation so I’d have a transcript for my blog.
Mr. FB sent me a list of requirements I needed to comply
with before I would be allowed to post his side of the phone call. I wasn’t
able to comply (not a virgin, drinks alcohol, owns black panties, married and
faithful but sexually active, waxes down there, owns sex toys). It went on and
on. I did meet some of the requirements (drank milk, ate pasta, etc.).
Mr. FB
I also had to sign 16 different documents and swear on a
bible that I would not misrepresent Mr. FB in any way. In the end I decided it
was best to use only my side of the conversation rather than record it word for
word and accidentally repeat something provocative.
The Phone Call
Me (nervous as the big guy takes the call): Hello Mr. Facebook, it’s me, Jasmin Quinn.
FB: …
JQ: Quinn… Jasmin Quinn, Canadian romance author.
FB: …
JQ: Uhm… self-published.
FB: …
JQ: You haven’t? We talked once, don’t you remember?
FB…
JQ: Right, of course. You’re busy in your quest for world
domination.
FB: …
JQ (a little defensive): Yes, some people have heard of me.
FB: …
JQ: No… not Nora Roberts, but Nikita Slater, D.D. Prince, N. Heinz…
FB: …
JQ: Nikita… oh never mind. I’m calling because one of my ads
got rejected again.
FB: …
JQ: Well, the email said the photo was sexually explicit.
FB: …
JQ: Maybe you could pull up my file and see.
FB: …
JQ: Oh, technical issues? Yes, I’ll hold.
8 hours later and 20
different renditions of Gwen Stefani’s Hollaback Girl by people auditioning for
The Voice.
JQ: What? Those bulges on his arms? Muscles. I think the technical
terms are bi-ceps and tri-ceps.
FB: …
JQ: I see. I can’t post a man with muscles.
FB: …
JQ: I see. I can’t post a man with bare arms.
FB: …
JQ: Okay. Yeah. Well, I changed the ad and resubmitted it.
FB: …
JQ: A pretty, blonde girl with a cowboy hat wearing a fringed
jacket. Fully dressed.
Second attempt at FB ad
FB: …
JQ: Yeah, got rejected. The email said the ad can’t promote
sexual or adult content, projects or services.
FB: …
JQ: Showing flesh? Her wrist and part of her arm, and her face.
FB: …
JQ: Yes. I pressed on the Advertising Policies.
FB: …
JQ: Yeah – Policy # 9: Ads must not contain adult content. This
includes nudity, depictions of people or suggestive positions, or activities
that are overly suggestive or sexually provocative.
FB: …
JQ: Yeah, I saw the pictures
FB: …
JQ: Yeah, the lady eating the banana
Not actual FB picture
FB: …
JQ (chuckling): Dole tried to get that one past you, did
they?
FB: …
JQ: Yeah. The naked statue is compliant.
FB: …
JQ: I see that. Naked. Everything hanging out. Hard to see Mr.
Penis without the erection.
Not actual FB photo but actual statue
FB: …
JQ: Oh, it is erect? Haha… I get it… cause it’s a statue, standing up…
FB: …
JQ: Yes. You have a great sense of humour.
FB: …
JQ: Ignore them. Those people are wrong.
FB: …
JQ: No. I didn’t appeal it.
FB: …
JQ: Because I couldn’t find the appeal link.
FB: …
JQ: Uh… an hour.
FB: …
JQ: Oh… okay. 3 hours max before I call? Got it. I’ll make
sure I do that next time.
FB: …
JQ: Uh… well… I was thinking of posting another picture and
I wanted to know if it was compliant.
FB: …
JQ: A nun. Full habit.
FB: …
JQ: Not compliant?
FB: …
JQ: Oh… naked underneath… yeah. No, I understand. It’s just I have men in my approved ads.
FB: …
JQ: No, they’re all suited up.
FB: …
JQ: No, but… I think they’re also probably naked under their
clothes.
FB: …
JQ: Ohhhhh, I see. They’re not women.
FB: …
JQ: Yeah. Now it makes sense. All the photo examples under rule #9 of prohibited content are of women.
FB: …
JQ: Yeah, all white women. Aren’t you afraid you’ll get
slammed for underrepresentation?
FB: …
JQ: Yeah, I know. I once put a black woman in a tub for a teaser.
FB: …
JQ: Yes. Naked, but under a lot of bubbles.
FB: …
JQ: No, no. She wasn’t black in the book.
FB: …
JQ: That’s misrepresentation? I didn’t know. Well, she could have been black, I guess…
FB: …
JQ: Oh, you read it? No, you’re right. I mentioned in the book that she was pale. Probably said something like, “She paled.”
FB: …
JQ: Yeah, I have a First Nations friend who thinks that’s
funny.
FB: …
JQ: When I say a white girl is pale.
FB: …
JQ: No, no. Don’t hang up! I really have a First Nations friend.
FB: …
JQ: Okay, I’ll send you her name and phone number. You can
check. I’m sorry.
FB: …
JQ: But my man…
FB: …
JQ: Oh, bare arms, muscles.
Okay.
FB: …
JQ: Well, I was hoping you could give me some advice on what
will work?
FB: …
Wonder if this will work?
JQ: A cat? Okay. I’ll see if I can find a picture.
FB: …
JQ: Yeah. Well, I should go. Thanks Mr. FB, you’ve been a
lot of help today.
FB: …
End of phone call.
Mr. Facebook was such a nice guy to take the time to speak with me.
I’m having so much fun today! And that’s without the wine. Happiness to you all.
I have some exciting news to share – besides the Shattered release (more on that below).
I’m stalking someone!
I know! I didn’t think I had it in me either. I mean in my late teens/early 20s I thought every male with a penis was worthy of my attention. All a guy had to say to me was “excuse me, you’re spilling your popcorn on me”, and my youthful hormone-driven self interpreted that to mean, “I’d like to take you for a five-course meal”, which was code for kissing, French-kissing, foreplay, serious oral sex and then full-out depraved sex. That’s all the prompting I needed to track down his full name, address, past, present and future girlfriends, credit card numbers, job history, investments, etc.
Not the real colour of my eyes… or my plants. (photo by alex iby unsplash)
I gave all that up when I got married, but to be fair, had I not been a stalker, I wouldn’t be married, which is also why I’m now a little leery of stalking. Even though I’m all for reverse harems, I find sharing space with one man challenging, so should I ever be fortunate enough to have several husbands, I would have to have a place to put them all so they didn’t drive me mad.
But still, I’M STALKING SOMEONE and if feels so good and he’s real – not a fictional boyfriend, although I have a few of those I’m stalking too.
So who am I stalking?
Not actual representation of my stalkee (Photo by Emiliano Vittoriosi unsplash)
It’s early days in the relationship and I’m not sure how it’s going to pan out, so I won’t share his name. What I will tell you is he’s a celebrity (not Ryan Reynolds, though I’m hoping this will make him sit up and take notice).
I’ve signed up for all his social media. I know he’s married and has children. I know their names. I know where he lives, I know what he drives, and I know his net worth. I know what his dogs’ names are, I know how much he weighs, his favourite food and the size of his penis.
He’s a little too old for me (actually if he’s a man and he’s breathing, he’s not too old), but that just makes him all that more desirable. I’ve been thinking about asking him if he’ll interview for my blog, but I find myself suddenly shy. I don’t know if my heart could take his rejection.
Enough about Mr. Mystery. Let’s move on.
I’m literally brimming (not really) with news!
So many things are new! That’s always the case, because I love writing! I love romance! I love writing dark, edgy romance! I don’t love exclamation marks though, so I don’t know why I’m using so many.
And oh my god, I love this book! It’s a little crazy, but I’ve read this book at least ten times (yeah, I know it’s called editing, but I’m probably one of my most devoted fans). I thought Hard Lessons was my masterpiece, but now I think this one is my Vermeer (what’s a Vermeer you ask? On March 15th you’ll get to find out – more on that below). I struggled with the pairing of Esma and Rusya because I couldn’t figure out how to make it work, but isn’t that what good romance novels are about – characters overcoming obstacles to finally find lasting love? In this case, one of Esma’s and Rusya’s big obstacles was themselves. They both had to change. That’s the joy and curse of true love. Fucking compromise.
Which is why I am now stalking someone. Stalkers don’t compromise.
What’s next in RWD?
Neither do hitmen, which is what’s coming down the pipes in June 2019 with Past Sins, Running with the Devil Book 8 (holy – 8 books!). You’ve already met Katerina in previous books (Without Mercy, Courting Trouble, and Shattered). She’s the pretty young Russian who works for Anto as his computer geek. Even Anto wonders why she’s on his payroll.
Alexei, a Russian hitman, is after her to make her atone for something she did six years ago. Who the hell knows how this is going to play out? Will Alexei kill Katya? Or will they fall in love and live happily ever after? And who is Nikita, and will he die gruesomely? So many unanswered questions. I can hardly wait!
And finally, the new series!
I’ve been threatening you with a new series, and one of the things that makes me such a good stalker is that I never make idle threats. So yes, my readers, shifters are coming!!! You heard it here first (not really – you heard in the Dark Side first unless you’re not a member, then you heard it here first) (unless someone told you, which I suppose could happen).
Shifters. Wolves to be exact. Not bears (sorry bear shifter people) because bears are loners and I wanted packs. Also, I couldn’t figure out how bears and wolves could reproduce. I had a long talk with my girl, Nikita Slater, on this and she was very clear that they could reproduce. But still, no bears.
This series is going to be awesome! My penchant for wild, primal, unapologetic male characters will serve me well because shifter’s rule by instinct. The entire concept gives me chills.
Shifters are the species between repressed, stick-up-their-asses humans and real wolves. They embrace instinct, don’t fight it, but still, a lot of what they do is more human than wolf. Trist (Basic Instinct, Shifters of Darkness Falls Book 1).
Want to know more about this series? Read Shattered and at the back, you’ll find the first two chapters of Basic Instinct (Shifters of Darkness Falls Book 1). And stay even more tuned and you will get to read the entire book on April 26th!
What does this mean for Running with the Devil?
It’s not the end of the Running with the Devil Series – I can’t let my mafia bad boys go that easily. There will be 5 more books in the RWD series (books 8-12) and two novellas. Too quote Anto, “You’re gonna love it!”
And even more fucking news!
Oh my fucking god, I’m having the best time this year! Nikita Slater and I have teamed up to write a series of dark, edgy novellas that will leave you breathless.
These After Dark novellas are for readers who love uncompromising, sexually-explicit romance.
They include elements of BDSM, dub/non-con sex and other dark erotic themes. They represent women’s darkest desires and fantasies and explore the dark side of love, romance, passion and obsession. They are naughty, uncensored and unapologetic.
All novellas are standalone, HEA with no cheating.
Grab a copy today of Nikita Slater’s and Jas Quinn’s first novella collaboration!!!
Collared: A Dark Captive Romance A dark romance collaboration by International Bestselling Authors Nikita Slater & Jasmin Quinn.
Milla Luc is not an ordinary man. He’s gracious, charming, sexy, and powerful. Everything I desire and don’t have. Can’t have. A cocktail of perfection, too tempting to pass up and I decide to enjoy the short time I have to spend with him. After this night, I’ll never see him again.
Luc I don’t play nice. I’ve never played nice. Milla didn’t do all her homework or she’d know that. Last night, I was gentle, loving, because she was beautiful and sexy, and I didn’t want to scare her away. But playtime is over, and the gloves are off. Poor lamb is about to get savaged.
Congratulations to the twisted dark romance writer for the release of not 1, but 2 books.
Queens move (Book Two of The Queens) will light your knickers on fire. It’s barely been out and it has almost 50 five-star reviews on Amazon. Congratulations Nikita.
On top of that, Nikita has teamed up Anita Gray to write a spin-off Blaire’s World book called Luna and Andres: Blaire’s World. Just released to more acclaim and strong reviews.
… there’s more, but that’s enough for one outing. I think it’s very likely you’ll hear from me before the end of April. I have to update you on how my stalking is going and I’m thinking of pushing a little harder on the Ryan Reynolds front.
And it’s time for another book boyfriend interview. I tried to interview Rusya Savisin, but I ended up in one of his cells, which would have been okay, except he refused to join me.
Apparently, it’s because I have a potty mouth.
Stalk on sisters and brothers but stay safe!
Love Jasmin
XOXO
PS. I’m over my mad at Facebook. We’re friends again.
Let’s start the new year on a grand fucking note! Just had to say it. On the stroke of midnight 2019, I will no longer hide behind my sensibilities (not that I did all that much before 2019).
When the urge to say ‘fuck’ arises, I’m going to give into it. It’s going to be grand year with all the fucking I’m going to do. Seriously, I’m not drunk! I’m so sober a judge would be in awe of me! (You know the saying – sober as a judge, which by the way, is bullshit. No way Judge Judy doesn’t drink – is that a double-negative? Is this a run-on parenthesis?).
Courting Trouble Released!
Where was I. Oh yes! Courting Trouble is out and it is fan-fucking-tastic if I do say so myself. Olivia, well she’s one of a kind and so’s Hugo! I love them both so much!
I highly recommend you read it because it will bring a smile to your face and happy start to your new year. It will also bring a smile to my face and a happy start to my new year! You can read it for FREE on Kindle Unlimited or buy it on Amazon for $2.99.
What else do I got?
The excerpt for Shattered (Running with the Devil Book 7) is tucked into the end of Courting Trouble. It pits Esma Akkaya, who was introduced in Without Mercy, against the dark, Russian mafia boss, Rusya Savison. Things are going to be hot and steamy, then dangerous and deadly. It will also be a time of reckoning for Anto Kharzin.
Who knows how it will end?
Okay, it will end on an HEA note. Or maybe HFN. Because every single one of my books ends with a whole lot of more story to tell.
Publishing Anniversary & New Year Promises
Happy Anniversary to me! I released my first book, The Darkest Hour (Running with the Devil Book 1) on December 28, 2017. What an excellent year it’s been!
I have a plan to publish six new books in 2019. Ambitious? You betcha! But it’s my plan and I’m sticking to it. One of those books is going to be the start of a new shifter series. I’ve tentatively titled the series, Shifters of Darkness Falls (although I reserve the right to change it before the first book is published).
I’ve started the first book, but am working out the background details so the books have a firm foundation. But like Running with the Devil, expect a whole lot of hot sexy men, fucking, swearing, violence and maybe even a threesome.
Okay, joking about the threesome. Sort of….
But there might be a threesome in the next bit of news (see BIG BIG BIG News below)!
BIG BIG BIG News!
My good friend Nikita Slater and I are collaborating on a number of novellas, the first of which will be released in January. Expect some really big edgy writing in little 25k books. I’m talking about straight up erotica, with a little romance and at Slater’s insistence, HEAs (she’s the romantic of the pair)! In 2019, Quinn Slater plans to produce 8 – 12 of these drool-worthy novelettes that will keep you up at night for all the right reasons!
Yup! I bagged her (not that way, you dirty-minded people). I got her to agree to an interview.
If you don’t already know, Nikita Slater is the author of 15+ awesome dark romance novels that can be purchased on Amazon or you can read for free on Kindle Unlimited.
We met over coffee in a bar. I looked like shit (it’s not like I was interviewing Jack Creed or Hugo Marsden. Slater likes boys, I don’t have a chance with her). We were on opposite sides of the table (she insisted – she’s not as touchy-feeley as one would think).
She looked divine, long dark hair, lush lips and a seriously nice ass (yeah, I checked it out). She was wearing jeans, a Black Sabbath T-shirt and a sparkly 2019 tiara on her head. Her nails were manicured and looked professionally done and she seemed a little nervous… perhaps too much caffeine?
I asked her the tough questions and she refused to answer. So I softened them up a little.
Me: Thanks for sitting down with me today, Nikita Slater. May I call you Nik?
Slater widens her eyes as she takes a sip of her latte and gives me a short nod. I think I’ve irritated her with my fucking good mood, but truly, I’m interviewing Nikita Slater. Why wouldn’t I be in a good mood?
Me: Let’s talk about 2019 – what can your readers expect from Nikita Slater next year?
Slater: A lot actually. I am starting a new dark romance series with the fabulous and extremely beautiful author (her words, not mine, I swear), Jasmin Quinn. We have a couple of books almost ready to go and plan to release our first one at the end of January under the PEN, Quinn Slater.
I’m also working on my next Queen’s book, Queen’s Move, which will be awesome. I’m loving writing it. I’ll also be working on the next Angels and Assassins book, and I’ll complete the Fire and Vice series with Burning Beauty.
Me: Sounds like you will be busy. How will you make sex a priority? And also, since you are in between boyfriends, how will you be able to make your sex scenes authentic without someone to practice them with?
Slater (slightly irritated): I can pick up boyfriends at the snap of a finger, but even if that doesn’t come to pass, I have always had a prolific dirty imagination and I don’t anticipate that failing anytime soon.
Me: And the sex?
Slater: Yes, there will be some.
Me: Okay. Let’s talk about this collaboration you are embarking on with this other author to produce a series of edgy, dark, sexy novellas. Tell us about this author, Jasmin Quinn. What makes her so amazing?
Slater: Jasmin Quinn and I will partner on the Quinn Slater series of novellas. Like me, she drinks wine. It’s possible I was drinking wine when I agreed to work with her. It’s possible I had already drank a lot of wine!
We do have a lot in common. We both like dogs, writing dark romance and we worked very well together on The Horror of Our Love anthology (which is on sale right now for $0.99 for a limited time).
Me: Yes, but what makes her so amazing?
Slater: Can I get back to you on that?
Me: Yes. Take as much time as you need.
I shift gears at this point. It’s time to ask the tough questions
Stephen
Me: What would you do if you found a penguin in your freezer?
Slater: Oddly, that’s happened. His name is Stephen and he loves sushi. He now lives in my tub. It’s expensive keeping him in ice.
Me: Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses? Explain?
Slater: 100 duck-sized horses. I would stand on something really tall, laugh at them and pepper them with ping-pong balls.
Me: What will you title your autobiography, when you write it?
Slater: Miss Understood.
Me: What would be your perfect murder weapon?
Slater: Poison.
Me: With your cooking?
Slater: Yes.
Me: Speaking of food, if you could redesign the food pyramid without any dire health consequences how would it look?
Slater: Chocolate at the bottom, then chocolate ice cream, wine, then chips and dip, sushi.
Me: Of the male characters that you’ve written, which is your favourite and why?
Slater: Sotza, who is the H in my upcoming book, Queen’s Move, because he’s ruthless, but thoughtful. Two qualities I’m always looking for in a man. Not thoughtful in that show up for dinner with roses and red wine, but because he’s brutal, smart, clever, intelligent and calm.
Me: So a psychopath?
Slater thinks this over and nods.
Me: Let’s play Murder, Fuck, Marry. Of the male characters you’ve written, which would you Marry, which would you Fuck, and which would you Murder and why?
Slater: Murder – I would kill Mercer in Fear in Her Eyes, because I wouldn’t be able to kill him. He’s too tough. So it would be just a murder attempt.
Me: Then he would cage you up, or tie you to the bed, or put a leash on you or….
Slater (side-stepping my comment): Marry – Ash from Fight or Flight because even though he’s dominant, he’s also probably the nicest; Fuck – Reyes in Scarred Queen. He’s very passionate, possessive. I wouldn’t marry him though because he’s a Bolivian mob moss. Mob bosses never end well.
Me: Dean or Sam?
Slater: Dean
Me: Who was more to blame? Adam or Eve?
Slater: Well, Adam, obviously.
Me: What would your pet say about you if I asked for a reference?
Friday, Slater’s long-suffering pet
Slater: I love my mom. Sometimes she forgets to feed me And she doesn’t yell at me when I throw up on the carpet.
Me: Are you lying?
Slater: No my dog adores me.
Me: Sex on a first date?
(longgggg pause)
Slater: Not if it was someone I was interested in seeing long term. Yes, if it was just a fling.
Me: Oral sex on a first date?
Slater: See above
Me: What’s one thing you wouldn’t want your mother to know about you?
Slater: I had a one night stand this year. It was actually a two-night stand. Is my mother going to see this?
Me: No.
Slater looked at her watch at this point, drained her latte and told me that I had to go. So I did. She’s a bit bossy!
***
Wishing everyone a fan-fucking-tastic New Years! Thanks for making 2018 so great!
Love Jasmin!
PS: Don’t forget to join Jasmin’s Dark Side, my closed FB group for updates and good times!
Neither do hitmen, which is what’s coming down the pipes in June 2019 with Past Sins, Running with the Devil Book 8 (holy – 8 books!). You’ve already met Katerina in previous books (Without Mercy, Courting Trouble, and Shattered). She’s the pretty young Russian who works for Anto as his computer geek. Even Anto wonders why she’s on his payroll.
I’ve been threatening you with a new series, and one of the things that makes me such a good stalker is that I never make idle threats. So yes, my readers, shifters are coming!!! You heard it here first (not really – you heard in the 
My good friend 
Yup! I bagged her (not that way, you dirty-minded people). I got her to agree to an interview.
Slater widens her eyes as she takes a sip of her latte and gives me a short nod. I think I’ve irritated her with my fucking good mood, but truly, I’m interviewing Nikita Slater. Why wouldn’t I be in a good mood?
Jasmin Quinn Writes Romance 