Tag: Amazon

100 million-year-old sperm, sexy produce, and a whole lot of news!

Dear masked marauders and everyone else these days!

At the risk of sounding too over-the-top, there is one advantage of wearing masks (aside from… you know… preventing the spread of Cov-id). You can tell if your fresh and minty breath is actually fresh and minty. It works like this:

Mr. Quinn: I’m horny.

Jasmin: About time!

I hate that parrot! Thanks Simon Shim on Unsplash for thinking to take a picture of parrot brushing its beak. It’s like you read my mind.

Jasmin dons mask, breathes out with mouth, inhales through nose. Wishes she were the heroine in a romance novel, because those bitches never have bad breath. Goes to bathroom and brushes teeth.

Returns to living room to find Mr. Quinn naked except for the mask he’s wearing as an eye patch and the parrot on his shoulder.

Mr. Quinn: Let’s play walk the plank!

Jasmin (new game, same stupid parrot): Sure, but not with the parrot.

Mr. Quinn (stands with the cuffs): He’s my first mate, wench! Hands behind your back!

#creativewaystoisolate #parrots #masksarenotahardship #maskssavelives

If you look hard enough, you can always find the sunshine in the rain!

Jasmin Quinn, Totally Sober
I know what you’re thinking. Nice segue to the video, Jasmin. I do not get this video. Someone please explain it to me. Please!

Since I’m not getting out a lot, I’ve started a quest for sexy vegetables. I’m not eliminating fruit, but it’s sexy already. Ripe peaches, juicy watermelons, pear-shaped ass, popping the cherry, and of course, is that a banana in your pocket or are you happy to see me?

Thanks T. Q. on Unsplash, Dainis Graveris on Unsplash, Rebecca Matthews on Unsplash for having the foresight to take these pictures for my blog.

What started me on this quest? Mr. Facebook of course. He’s the best, isn’t he? I love it when that bastard makes the news for all the right reasons!

Click on the onions for the FB rejection that made onions across the world sexy, but no tweaking, pinching, sucking, squeezing or other inappropriate handling.

Thanks mayu ken on Unsplash for the walla wallas. Even the name sounds sexy.

So I dug around for some more sexy vegetables and turns out there are a bunch.

The pictures above are from: https://firstwefeast.com/eat/accidentally-sexual-fruits-vegetables – except for the parsnip. I don’t know where that came from.

The romantic in me loves this picture of carrot love. Click on the pic for the article about why vegetarians make better lovers. BTW: apparently most condoms aren’t vegan!

Before we move on to the very important news, I want share the discovery of 100 million year old sperm that was making headlines on September 17th. Seriously, every major news outlet carried the story.

Why? Because it’s about sperm, and not just old sperm, but also big sperm. And big sperm equals big balls which very likely equals a huge dick! At least that’s why I read the articles. All of them.

https://www.cnn.com/2020/09/17/world/sperm-oldest-amber-intl-scli-scn/index.html

Yes. It was chaos back then. Not like now.

On to the best news! House of Shadows has been released! Why is it such a big deal? Because it’s the 12th and final book the my Running with the Devil Series. I’m excited about the end, but having trouble letting go. That means that next year, I plan to publish two novellas.

Owen’s instant attraction to Mel, the woman he hires to investigate his father’s past, adds complications to his already tumultuous life. Mel’s past has left her scarred and vulnerable, and though she has all the skills she needs to fight the enemy of the day, she has no defense against her desire for Owen Scott.

To celebrate the end of this three year journey that was so fucking much fun, all my Running with the Devil books (Except House of Shadows) are on on sale on Amazon for a mere $0.99 each. This is a limited time deal, so grab them while they’re hot! https://www.amazon.com/Jasmin-Quinn/e/B078MYSC2M

More awesome news! If you’re not already signed up for my newsletter, get cracking! There are giveaways if you’re a subscriber including the chance to win 1 of 5 $10 Amazon gift cards. If I get 200 new sign-ups, one lucky subscriber will win an awesome gift basket!

Some of my books got a makeover last week, including Black Surrender, which has new title to go with it’s awesome new look! Isn’t it beautiful?

I did a little housecleaning with the all my books, updating back matter and a few bits and pieces. A couple of new covers and all my books are now available in paperback.

I have finally put my books into boxsets. Aren’t they pretty? Each collection has four books and Running with the Devil Books 9-12 will be available December 11, 2020. Amazon and I tussled over these and I’m embarrassed to admit, they broke me. It’s not often I beg, unless Mr. Quinn insists, but Mr. Amazon got me down on my knees. It worked though, because as of this posting they are all available (I hope).

What’s next for Jas, you wonder? Or maybe not, but I wonder. I’m kidding. I know what’s next.

First of all, I’ve gone wide. In the hips, yes, but also my books are now for sale on Amazon and Kobo, and soon, you’ll be able to buy them on Google, Apple, and Barnes & Noble. Unfortunately, going wide means I can no longer offer them for free in the Kindle Unlimited program.

Second, I’m putting together my publishing plan for 2021. Of course, I’ll be publishing a couple of Darkness Falls books. In February, Ulrich and Aubrey’s story gets told in Primal Heat. This book has been fun to write – I’m kind of in love with Ulrich. Primal Heat is available to preorder on Amazon and Kobo! And Leah finally gets her book sometime next summer. Is she really batshit crazy, or is there a vulnerable woman underneath that insane veneer? Stay tuned.

Finally, I’ve got a new series in the works that will be a whole lot of fun. Still romantic, steamy, spicy, plus blatantly humorous in a very biting way (I hope). That plus the two RWD novellas and at least two Darkness Falls books will keep me busy and out of trouble.

Oh yes, and my free book, Fearless, for my Newsletter is almost done. I had wanted it finished before House of Shadows was released, but it lost ground on my list of priorities. Everyone who subscribes to my newsletter will get a copy of this 65,000 word book.

I’m hoping I can finalize it before Christmas.

That’s all I got. Stay safe, friends and eat your vegetables.

Love and kisses,

Jasmin

The Big O, the Little o, and Ho HO oh!

Dear Holiday Revellers and Readers with really great taste!

HO! HO! OH! Season’s Greetings!

This month, I got a letter from my Secret Santa (Mr. Quinn, because we’re the only two that participate in our secret Santa exchange), explaining that I was on the naughty list. So I sent him a list of naughty things I wanted. He’s not as much fun as you would think (living with me and all). He refused my request for a reverse harem, a nude painting of Ryan Reynolds in our bedroom, and said no to dressing up as a pirate and kidnapping and ravishing me.

So I put him on my naughty list (I’m Mr. Quinn’s secret Santa, if you haven’t already guessed) and refused his request to wear a sexy cat woman costume and let him pretend he’s Batman.

He’s Batman

It has become a battle of wills with so many unanswered questions. Who will break first? Will I get my reverse harem or will Mr. Quinn get cat woman claw marks on his back? Or will we both get what we want? Doubtful.

In anticipation of Mr. Quinn losing, I’m currently making a list of who I want in my reverse harem.

How many men will be in my reverse harem?Will Ryan Reynolds be on my list? If not, who will I replace him with? Will I find a pirate for my reverse harem? Where will I put all the men?

Why am I now talking in questions?

Putting all that naughty stuff aside, I’ve become enamored with pirates and now want a tattoo of one, naked except for the eye patch, the hat and the sword. Which sword you ask? Both of course – the cutlass at his side, and the hard big one between his legs. They will both be curved for maximum effectiveness. No parrot though. I don’t want to freak out my caregiver when I get too old to look after myself.

Moving along!

I know you’re thinking that those are eyeballs, but they’re not. They’re tealights, although if you want to pretend they’re eyeballs, I’m on board.

Two years ago on Christmas, I released The Darkest Hour. Since then I’ve released a total of 10 Running with the Devil Books, 2 Shifters of Darkness Falls books, and 6 novellas, 5 of which were co-authored with my girl, Nikita Slater.

Also, Mr. Quinn and I celebrated our anniversary on December 26th. It always lands on that day, no matter how we try to avoid it. We used to take turns buying the anniversary card, but we lost track of whose turn it was, so now we just mumble and wheeze “Happy Anniversary!” when we wake up in the morning.

Lots more to celebrate coming up! Let’s talk about New Year’s resolutions.

Do you make them? I do, every year. New Year’s resolutions help me set my goals.

The Witcher (swoon)

NYR #1. Get a new stalkee. Henry Cavill is a serious contender since I binge-watched The Witcher. Oh my fucking god, he’s hot in that show! My pulse is increasing as I’m writing about him and my stomach just did that twirly thing. Where’s Mr. Quinn when I need him? Oh yeah, golfing. I hope he loses his balls (no, I don’t – he’s very needy when he’s in pain). I’ll continue to stalk RR despite his lack of attention to me. He’s been busy.

NYR #2.

Blog more. At least once a month, maybe more. And not just rambling unfocused blogs, but serious ones about universe stuff and why water has no colour. I also intend to interview some of my favourite authors and hope to publish one interview per month (that’s 12 interviews next year for anyone who doesn’t want to do the math).

NYR#2 continued.

Who are these authors you ask? Well, I know who they are, but they don’t know that they’re going to get interviewed by me and I think they should hear it from me first (otherwise they’ll block me). Except for my January interview. I know, she knows, and so you can know too. I timed my request while she was drunk (possibly high) and had a turkey hangover. She slurred, “Yes!”

The Grand Reveal!

My January interview will be none other than the amazing DeeDee Prince (aka Scarlett Starkleigh)! I’m so excited to finally get Ms. Prince on the couch with me to have a serious one-to-one. I hope she wears her Scarlett outfit! We’re currently working out the details of the interview, such as: Who’s supplying the jello shots? What flavour should they be? How do you pronounce Zane (not as easy as think since the h is silent and also invisible).

NYR#3. Write like no one’s watching, which is easy to do, since no one is watching. That would be creepy, wouldn’t it?

NYR#4. Eat less creamed corn. Also easy because I only ate creamed corn once in 2019 and it was under duress (and I was also probably drunk). It’s on my list of Things I Don’t Like So Much along with houseplants (which tops the list) and the word, hyena (it’s an impossible word to pronounce, it’s missing an h (hyhena, am I right?) and it comes across as an onomatopoeia, which is also another word on the list because I can’t spell or pronounce it and it fancies itself superior to all other literary devices. .

There are so many reasons not like it.

Because I can’t spell it, I call it the ‘o’ word, which annoys me because everyone knows the the ‘O’ word is orgasm. I differentiate by using the lower case ‘o’ for the word I cannot say. It’s kind of fun, because I think little ‘o’ is compensating for it’s small penis by being an unpronounceable shit. By the way, penis is a noun, while cock, dick, and junk are also nouns although some may call them figurative. I just call them cool names for penis that I like to use in my books. I have no idea why I threw that in. I just like saying dick, I think. And I like nouns too.

I’m not done ranting about little ‘o’ with the big attitude. It’s ironic (one of the words on my list of Things I Like A Lot) that an unpronounceable word is used to define words that mimic the thing described, making the description more expressive and interesting (I stole that shit from literarydevices.net). Also, according to examples.yourdictionary.com/, boing is an example of the ‘o’ word. Hmmm.

My brain is boinging around trying to figure that out. By the way, I don’t like the A Lot. The TWO words are Siamese twins pretending to be fraternal. I call bullshit on that!

And people say I’m not a deep thinker. Actually no one says that. They just stare at me and shake their heads.

Because I can’t let this go, here is a woeful Holiday Tale sprinkled with as many ‘o’ words as I could fit. Maybe even one big ‘O’.

Holy, did I digress! Let’s keep celebrating!

Fallen Angel (Running with the Devil Book 10) is available on Amazon. You can also read it FREE on Kindle Unlimited. I love this book!

I love all my books and all my heroes, but Rob Creed might just be my favourite because he’s rich, he’s sexy, he’s commanding, he’s rough, but he’s also got a good soul. He’s the kind of guy who will fall in love with you and keep you forever. And he’s also really great in bed and in the kitchen, and by the pool, and in a BDSM club and… and… and….

Rob snapped a hand to Emma’s throat, dragging her to him, his face inches from hers. “Respect me, baby or you’ll be in for a world of hurt.”

Robert Creed’s dark desires got him locked up for the murder of his girlfriend. Exonerated, his plan for vengeance involves Emma, a beautiful woman who might just be Rob’s undoing.

Emma has a plan. Get her drug-addicted sister cleaned up and then find somewhere to hide far away from the sadistic reach of her boss, Randall Scott.

What she doesn’t count on is Robert Creed, a man who catches her interest and steals her heart. But he’s hard, dangerous and grieving, and he’s using Emma to get to her boss.

History repeats itself when Emma goes missing, but this time Rob will move heaven and earth to defeat his enemy and save his woman.

Fallen Angel is book 10 of the Running with the Devil Series. All books are standalone and can be read in any order. ***Trigger warning: this book contains a violent sexual assault committed by a secondary character.

Other reasons to Celebrate this Holiday Season!

Two of my favourite authors have released books this holiday season! 

Check out Nikita Slater’s new book, Burning Beauty (Fire and Vice Book 8)! I had a chance to read this epic 5-star thrill ride in advance of its release day (which is today!) I loved every single sexy moment of it.

Scarlett Starkleigh (aka as DeeDee Prince) has a hot new romance out and when I say hot, I mean out of this world hot! Hot Alpha Alien Husbands: Book 2: Zane and Tanya is an excellent 5-star read. 

What can you expect from the desk of Jasmin Quinn in 2020?

Nothing. My desk is selfish and unrepentant. It hides my stuff, destroys my pencils and bruises me with its sharp corners.

From me though, I have so much planned that I’ll probably have to get Henry Cavill to superman me up or maybe Gerault me to new heights. Did I just use the little ‘o’ word?

First, Alpha’s Prey (Shifters of Darkness Falls Book 3) is already available on Amazon for preorders. Buy now and get the e-copy on February 28th, 2020! Or wait and read it for FREE on Kindle Unlimited.

I’m loving the pairing of Gideon and Honey – this one’s going to be dark, but full of hotness and fun too! I’ll share an excerpt in my Facebook group (Jasmin’s Dark Side) soon.

What else you ask? And even if you didn’t, I’m still going to say.

  • A 50,000 word freebie for my newsletter subscribers (YOU!) in March/April.
  • Mr. Jackman finally gets his book! Expect Mr. Master (Running with the Devil Book 11) in early May! This one will be extremely hot! I cannot wait to work on it!
  • Unleashed is a standalone full-length book that I’ve been working on for about a year. I hope to have it ready for release in early June.
  • Late June/early July, I’ll be releasing Rogue (Shifters of Darkness Falls Book 4).
  • My 12th and final Running with the Devil book will come out in late August/early September. This is bittersweet for me, so expect a couple of novellas some time in the future. I fear I’m going to have empty nest syndrome.
  • I will also be writing a 40k book for an anthology to be published in December 2020.
  • And with a little luck I’ll be able to squeeze in one more Darkness Falls book.
  • Finally, I’ve read a lot of MC books this year and love the genre. So I”m planning a new MC series, with the first book probably coming out early in the 2021.

It’s truly been an amazing 2019, in very big part due to my supportive readers. I love to write. I’m doing my dream job and it’s wonderful after many years of working in a job that stole parts of my soul.

Happy Holidays to all of you and my very best wishes for a fantastic 2020!

Love and kisses,

Jasmin

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